Likes2Write

Occupy Google

2012-01-18T15:20:38Z

        Today, the day of big Internet Blackout, and you guessed it, I am using the internet. I turned on my computer and saw Google’s homepage, a big blacked out space with only the lower portion of the “g” exposed. Also I tend to think this is the big experiment because Google had underneath the big blacked out area, highlighted, “Tell Congress: Please don’t censor the web!” This is a fantastic marketing ploy! Thinking of the far reaching capabilities of the search engines, I imagine all the Googlers at Google’s home office key wording “Google” in the search bar, just to see how many Google hits were received on 1/18/2012.
         What exactly is to be learned today? I suppose they will find out which of “We the People” are the defiant ones. I believe our Government has always been afraid of “We the People” and I believe they are afraid of how quickly we can organize and that is a threat to them. Of course they would like to censor the internet! Regardless of how you perceive yourself politically, we are all the same, the Commoners.
         This morning it was mentioned to me by a family member that when you have all the money, you have all the power. Well, that is the American way. Seems to me there is a lot of class warfare going on between those who do not have against those who do have. Well think about this. Why do you play the lottery? Perhaps you dream of being one who has something instead of living pay day to pay day. Yes, when you have money, you can buy anything you want. Big Deal! To get mad at this concept is to squash you very own dreams of someday not having to worry about every nickel and dime you make and spend. Class warfare is lame. It is the abuse of power that bothers me. The abuse of power should concern all of us. Google wants control and power over the internet and to own all of our data. We are wise to you, the Almighty Google. Google..Google..Google

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

Social Media Application

2011-09-23T04:44:38Z

        The internet is the fastest moving train since the Industrial Revolution changed the world forever. Ten years ago, before I had my own computer, not unusual at that time, that I found a use for email {before this I did not understand the concept} Only a few possessed personal computers, which evolved into laptops which is now outdated since the smart phone is now in the hands of everyone you meet on the street. Recently, while visiting my mother, she asked if I wanted to use her laptop to check my Face Book. I replied “No thanks. I have been checking it on my smart phone during the day as I receive updates.” We are all connected to the big cloud in the sky, owned by Google. Well, let me just suggest that this is my PO (Personal Opinion) The day I sent my first email ten years ago, it was extremely beneficial. I figured out a way to use it as an application. My son was in an extreme medical situation and rather than phone all the relatives, I wrote one email and sent to everyone on my mother’s address list. I felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders as I found a way to apply it.
         Today, I have found many ways Face Book has been beneficial to network, to share knowledge, to share photos and stories and information. It is a way to keep close to friends who live afar. It has been a way for me to offer emotional support to friends who need that and it has been my answer in the middle of the night when I worried I may need to go to hospital but instead was given useful information by others who had a shared knowledge. It has been a way to share the craft fairs where I would be working. The possibilities are limitless. Mark Zuckerberg, founder of FB, has learned more from users than he could have possibly imagined. We have made him a multi-millionaire because we found many applications without limits.
         They say folks who have blogs are actually writing less, because they share so much through social media, and write shorter pieces, not necessarily on their blogs. Unfortunately, I have found no useful applications for Twitter or Linked In. I am unsure they would be beneficial to me, however, I once thought the same way about email and Face Book. At the risk of sounding like an old lady, some may have felt the same way about using a telephone back at the turn of the century. Perhaps they felt the same about using an automobile. I suppose the affordability of these luxuries was half of the excitement of purchasing these gadgets.
         Tonight, I was excited to think I learned how to add widgets to my blog and for the first time in four years, I added a new feature. On each story, it is now possible to click on SHARE and a group of social media sites pops up onto the screen. This allows the reader to share the link with any of those sites. Yes, this old dog is still trying to learn a few tricks.

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

Remembering the Day the Twin Towers Collapsed- A Telephone Operator’s Account

2011-09-12T05:19:17Z

It started out as an ordinary work day with my daily half hour commute from Standish to Portland, Maine en-route to fulfill my duties as a 411 operator. I knew that even though I may only speak to a caller for fifteen seconds, that I had to be very alert when handling the call volume. On the way, I always listened to a radio station to receive the news of the day. This particular day, I listened as the news unfolded and hurried along faster to see if there might be something on the television at work. I arrived to find our break room full of people, I had never seen, mostly managers whom worked upstairs. The room was silent as we all watched the story unfold. Looking back, it may have been Katie Couric who narrated exactly what was happening in Lower Manhattan. What I did notice was a lack of display of emotion from those giving us the news. No dramatic display of hysteria, like Hebert Morrison’s radio broadcast witnessing the explosion of the Hindenburg in 1937. It was all ‘matter of fact’ and as I recollect, which seemed sterile and detached from the event. Regardless, nothing could have prepared any of us for what we witnessed happening via live satellite from NYC. As we viewed the television screen in horror, we saw ordinary people like us plunging from windows towards their deaths. Then the first tower slammed from the top floor into the next, subsequently, like a giant domino line, until the giant skyscraper was leveled into what surmounted into an “atomic” dust cloud chasing thousands of New Yorkers through the streets and across bridges running for their lives. We were in complete shock and denial, and acutely horrified. And then, the second tower collapsed. I abruptly shouted an expletive… and then I looked around the room and saw other operators scrambling to enter the directory assistance office to handle our day to day information calls. Having been a 411 operator for three years, this was a day I was unsure that I could perform my job with full concentration. I had the entire morning’s events weighing heavily of my mind, and so did my co-workers. In fact, one of my co-workers ended up unplugging and telling a manager he needed to leave. His daughter was in Lower Manhattan. He managed to reach her and instructed her to go quickly to his friend’s office at Newsweek magazine and stay there until he arrived. Managers rushed around the office with papers outlining information the callers would be looking for such as emergency info for the airlines, listings for government agencies and any other information which would be pertinent to the callers’ requests. It was complete chaos in the office for an hour or so when one of some of the managers ran around the office with clipboards asking for volunteers to go to Dover, NH to field phones calls from only NYC and surrounding boroughs. I did not hesitate and raised my hand along with six or seven others. My mind was on this disaster and doing whatever I could do to help. We grabbed our things and car pooled to Dover which was over an hour south of Portland. I called home before I left and told my family I would be home very late. I was unaware my sons had witnessed it on televisions at their school. They were twelve and fourteen and old enough to see this. Later, reflecting how I felt that my sons’ witnessed the WTC collapse on television, my reasoning was that it was historically significant.
Once in Dover, we saw many whom we used to work with in Directory Assistance. This was the Zero Operator office. The break room was full of pizzas for us and they welcomed us to help them field calls from NYC. We all sat in a room and did emergency training for about 3 hours. A Zero operator’s responsibilities were far different from a 411 operator. The keyboards had different functions which we needed to learn. None of us could have been prepared for what we were to hear when we plugged into our switchboards. In Directory, we could hand off a call to a service assistant if the customer needed more help. As a Zero Operator, the call belonged to you from beginning to end. Handing off a call was not an option.
We all went to our stations with our manuals and notes in hand. It was a day I will never forget.The phone company waived all coin phone fees that day as the urgency prevailed all day in Lower Manhattan. Hysteria met our ears all day and we had to remain calm and professional throughout our tour of duty. I recall becoming emotional a few times, when people were yelling that they just escaped from the 84th floor, the 79th floor, and after a while, I felt relieved that some people had escaped. They were in a panic, trying to reach family members. I tried to connect a few however with the steady stream of the flow of communication; often times calls were met with ALL CIRCUITS ARE BUSY. It was not like cell phones were carried by everyone as they are today, ten years later.
I remember we were taught how to break into a line to connect a person to a person. One man calling from Brooklyn to Staten Island, asked me to intercept the call. I broke into the line and informed the woman I had so & so who needed to speak with her. She agreed and I heard a short piece of the conversation. He was yelling, “The towers are gone!! Can you believe those people are all dancing in the streets in Pakistan?? ” I continued with my next call. It was a suicidal man from Queens. He was saying the world was ending and he wanted to hurt himself. I quickly tried to reassure him to hold a moment because I was going to get him some help (Samaritans). With this call, I needed assistance from a trainer. It was very stressful and this person believed this was the end of the world… he was exasperated. We connected him to an operator for Samaritans and then onto my next call. I received many calls from people who were looking for their friends and family and wanted me to dial the name of the business at the World Trade Center. They were in complete disbelief. I told them the towers were gone and I wished them well and said a prayer for them. I did not know how I was going to get through the day talking to New Yorkers all day. I felt like I had been through battle after only one day on the job. That night, I went home and cried. The following day, we did the same thing again. The second night, I went home again and I cried. The third day, we resumed our regular jobs as 411 operators, as Dover did not need us anymore.
Life changed drastically after that day. For the next year or so, I would get up in the middle of the night to check Headline News for any little bit of details related to the terrorist attack. I was consumed with news 24/7, a dramatic change from the early days of my youth when we had a B&W TV and saw the news once a day. I recalled my father waking us to watch the moon landing. It seemed such and innocent time and a time when news didn’t rule our lives. We are addicted to news and information in the moment and we are all on a fast train heading for somewhere.
For at least a year after the attack, every call into Directory Assistance was noticably different. The callers were all on high alert. They listened when the operators asked them for more information. They were kinder and polite for a long time, perhaps prioritizing the important things in life. I think it forced all of us to reevaluate our lives. Maybe we all needed a wake- up call. I remember thinking that the effort to look for survivors and to clear the area of debris needed to be photographed. I hoped someone was brave enough to take on the task. Joel Meyerowitz, photographer was from the New York area. He started carrying his camera everyday and was questioned and sent away. He was persistent and finally received clearance to document the area. He then heard many stories as he spoke with rescue personnel nearly every day. Then the calls began coming into 411 for young men and some women looking for recruiter’s listings. This went on for a long time, as young men and women joined the armed forces to fight against those who dared attack us.
I recall seeing the haze in NYC after the collapse of the twin Towers, a haze which lasted days upon days. I saw a silhouette of a large twisted steel form similar to cathedral windows cast against a backdrop of soot and ashe whiteout. That piece of twisted steel, I later wrote to the editor of the New York Times was something which needed to be salvaged for a Memorial. Apparently, I was not the only one to think so, because I was in good company with the head of Metropolitan Museum of Art also mentioning this piece of twisted steel needed to be considered for a Memorial. I have a copy of my email sent and also the letter from the New York Times. In fact I saved many different newspapers from that day. In 1983, before my visit to the Twin Towers, I would visit the Empire State Building and photograph looking down towards Wall Street earlier that day. I also saved some artifacts from the World Trade Center and went to the Observation Deck to photograph. I took photos from all the four sides looking out over the New York skyline including a spectacular view of the Brooklyn Bridge lit up at night. I took photos looking down towards the street, which I now realize was the view people witnessed just before their plunge from the building that day. My artifacts include a green ticket to the Observation Deck which has an outline of the WTC and also a brochure which unfolds to show the NYC skyline. On the front of the color brochure is written in bold letters, “The Closest Some Will Ever Get to Heaven”

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

Henry Ford

2011-07-26T14:20:04Z

Perhaps one of the most interesting self- made American men was Mr. Henry Ford. It started with an article I read in an old magazine, The American Magazine, dated July 1928. The title was “Wages Will Go Up and Prices Come Down says Henry Ford”, an interview by William S. Dutton. [ pg 15-17,111-113]
         Ford was sixty-five when he was interviewed by Dutton. Ford believed that a man is in training until age forty. If he quits then or retires, he is a failure. Ford did not believe he was successful, as his only success was an assembler of tools. His philosophy of money was interesting.
         Money is but only a tool and Ford believed when it becomes other than a tool in its use, then it becomes a menace. Ford’s statement, “Non productive private fortunes do not exist anymore. Once they cease to produce, they disappear.” Raw tools of the industry would include a pile of coal. A pile of money is also a raw tool of the industry.
         He was asked about charity workers. What were Ford’s thoughts about giving away large amounts of money to charity? He went on to explain how his factory, which he referred to as his “machine”, worked. Ford owned everything to make his machine work. To produce cars, he converted ore to steel, then sand to glass, then hemp to burlap, then cloth into artificial leather, then waste paper and rags into binder board and slag into cement, and he even owned the rubber plants to produce his automobile tires. Ford Motor Company was a vertical industry. Henry Ford explained that nobody could possibly know how high men’s wages eventually would climb and likewise nobody could predict just how cheaply goods could be produced. He spoke of equations and that it may be possible to double wages and to half costs or to quadruple wages and to quarter costs. We can not predict what the possibilities will be. Ford went on to say that costs are no nearer to the bottom than wages are to the top. Ford knew that the two movements, wages upward and costs downward will do more to abolish poverty than all the professional charity agencies combined.
         On the subject of charity once again, Ford believed that Prosperity is not the product of charity, but of industry, not of receiving but of producing. Money has little to do with prosperity because it in itself does not produce. “Money represents an earned right to participate in the general production. If everyone partook and nobody produced, what good is money?”(pg 17) Ford said many people confuse money with wealth. You can use real wealth but you cannot use money because you can only accept it in exchange of uses. Real wealth gives values to money: money gives no value to wealth. Let every man produce one useful thing, or reclaim one idle acre more and wealth increases.
         Ford asked if it was efficient for business to pay high land taxes in a congested city and have people that cannot afford their rent. It was better for business to move into the country where land costs were lower with better living conditions. Ford said that money to buy his vehicles came from people, not Wall St, not the Banks and not Capitalists.
         Until interest is earned, no profit can be made. Ford’s belief that once a person invested in one of his autos, they should be paying less for their second car they buy from Ford and it should be a better car also. He felt that the money customers invested with Ford Motor Co. also paid men’s wages and to keep his “machine” running. He did not want the customer to carry the extra expense of added interest on their own hard earned money. He felt the customer paid once so they should not be charged again.
         Henry Ford lived rather simply. His payroll to keep his machine working was one million dollars per day. If anyone ate up his money, it would be the machine, Ford explained. Upon a recent visit to his winter home in Fort Myers , FL, I was surprised he only went there two weeks each year, a testament to hard work ethics.
         Ford was the master of efficiency, as you will read later in this piece. I recall a story in Studs Terkel’s book, Hard Times, about an assembly worker in the Ford plant. The worker arrived to work a very long first day. He was not told to bring a lunch or a pair of gloves. Once inside the factory, the gates locked behind him, and if one arrived 5 minutes late, they were docked one hour’s pay. The worker thought there might be a lunch wagon, but instead went hungry on his first day at work which was longer than today’s eight hour day. His job was to sand fenders all day, which he did bare- handed with no gloves.
         Ford refused to think of himself as a success. His statement, “Any man who thinks he has done something, hasn’t many more things to do. More men are failures on account of success than on account of failures” [Ford]
        Having researched the design and cost breakdown which Ford had spent much time considering, I read with great interest the manual Ford Model A/AA Truck Owner by A.G.McMillan. The manual was originally written during the years of the Great Depression, late 1920’s. Ford was intrigued with making sure his truck was versatile and he marketed it well. He designed Baker’s delivery trucks, garbage trucks ,ice trucks, taxi’s ,ambulances , police patrol vehicles ,heavy duty express road service trucks (tow trucks), Coal trucks, Hydraulic trucks, stock trucks for moving livestock, stake trucks (with wooden stakes on the sides), Long bed trucks, Panel body trucks , and Funeral coaches. He had two basic types of AA trucks which were All American (all metal) and Line Construction Bodies (telephone & telegraph trucks, light & power trucks)
        Ford claimed there were four reasons why a Ford Truck meant Efficiency and Economy. #1 Complete Line of Equipment (With a large number of Fords in operation meant a greater number of manufacturers) #2 Lower prices on Equipment (Greater production meant lower cost of Ford equipment) #3 Better repair service ( With a large amount of Fords on the road meant for more repair centers everywhere) #4 More rapid delivery ( National distributing eliminated delays)
                    The manual was full of diagrams showing weight distribution of freight as well as comparison charts showing cost efficiency of his trucks versus the use of horse teams. Comparisons included time breakdowns and cost breakdowns. It took 4 teams (8 horses) and 4 men to keep pace with a Ford truck with a total cost of $1200.00 for equipment per year however the Ford truck cost $675.00 per year. A Ford truck would work 24 hours per day with only 15 minutes of care whereas horses will not stand more than eight hours per day. It takes forty acres to feed eight horses but a Ford truck only uses gas and oil. Stormy weather does not impact a Ford however in stormy weather, men and horses stand idle.
        There was also a diagram which showed the costs per mile. The price of eight horses and four wagons was $1200.00 per year less $675.00 for the Ford Truck. The initial savings there was $525.00 In addition to those savings, cost of operating eight horses and four wagons per year $1292.64 and the cost of operating a Ford Truck was $270.21. Those savings were $1022.43 with a total savings comparison of $1547.43 for the first year.
        The next comparison was between a Ford six-wheel 2 ½ ton unit and an existing 2½ ton truck ( name of truck was not mentioned). The Ford truck appeared more solid, less bulky and streamlined in comparison to the competitor’s truck. Maybe one of the differences in appearance was Ford’s use of load distribution. 60/40 load distribution meant that 60 % of the weight was over the front axle while 40% was over the rear axle.
        The cost of Ford’s six wheel 2 ½ ton truck was $982.00 and the truck in comparison cost $3478.00. The running cost of gas, oil and lubrication was broken down for each vehicle. The Ford truck got 10 miles to the gallon where the comparison truck got 7 miles to the gallon. So the average truck cost per mile was calculated for the comparison truck to 0.165 and the Ford truck was 0.086 per mile. Depreciation, Maintenance and Fixed costs were all figured into calculations. Comparing costs of those two trucks, a savings of $3720.00 was what the consumer could expect the first year if they purchased a Ford Truck.
         The design of Ford’s trucks was also broken down into diagrams and lists. Each truck had 66 drop forgings for maximum strength and minimum weight. Each truck came equipped with shatterproof glass on the front windshield. The only vehicle Ford manufactured that also included a shatterproof rear windshield was the ambulance. Also to reduce rivets, there were over 611 electric welds for safety and strength. Ford trucks were designed for easy adjustment. Ford owned the world’s largest Industrial unit. His plant in Dearborn, Michigan had a casting foundry, a glass plant, pressed steel and spring buildings, rolling mill, open hearth cement plant, and also had investments in the rubber industry to produce his tires. A diagram depicted 500 Ford coal cars bringing coal to the rouge plant. The rouge glass plant had an annual capacity of 10,000,000 square feet. 500 gallons of old paint were reclaimed daily. Power plant consumed 2200 tons of coal daily. Rouge plant covered 1,096 acres.
        Coke ovens produced an average of 3,300 tons of coke, 50, 000,000 cubic feet of gas, and 40,000 gallons of refined light oil every 24 hours. 2,500 barrels of Portland cement produced daily. Approximately 95 miles of railroad sidetracks were in the Rouge plant. James Newton, author of Uncommon Friends relayed a story told by Edison’s son about The Rouge plant losing power once. Hoping to restore power quickly, Ford was reluctant to wait for the electric company to set poles, and instructed his own men to run power lines along the telephone poles. He told his men that he would deal with the telephone company later. Newton was a close friend of Edison, Ford and Firestone. In 1932, Newton and a newspaper reporter met Ford for an interview concerning his business philosophy. Newton mentioned there were two Ford model A’s in the driveway. Ford told Newton he had driven one from Detroit while his assistant drove the other. After the reporter left, Ford mentioned to his assistant, “Should we show Newton what we have here?” They proceeded to open the hood so Jimmie Newton took a look at the first V-8 engine. It was two months later when the world would see the V-8. Ford wanted to test drive the V-8 himself and if one of the vehicles broke down, they could just tow it using the other Ford Model A, rather than have it towed to a garage and spill the beans about the V-8.
         Ford Motor Company’s assets were one billion dollars during the late 1920’s.Ford employed 269 thousand men including factory workers and dealers. Plants and equipment worth 293 million dollars with a production of 18 million cars and trucks (3 million model A’s) Ford also made sure that he had schools for mechanics to become certified to work on his vehicles. There were 22,800 trained mechanics that graduated from these schools and became employed in Ford service stations. In addition, Ford employed 17, 734 salesmen, 5,877 dealers and 1,334 fleet –owner mechanics. There were 35 branches which were Ford headquarters for that territory
         In the early 20’s, there was a recession and Ford was producing many cars. He was smart with finance and managed to keep his company from being taken over by big bank creditors. Demand was low at this time. One way he managed to save his company was to ship his cars to the dealerships with a bill of lading and sight draft attached. The dealership had to pay for the vehicles when they were delivered. Either they paid for the vehicles or they lost their dealerships. The author, Newton, explained that in those days, having a Ford dealership afforded one considerable status in a small town.
         Model AA panel delivery trucks could be special ordered with the name of the business information lettered onto the vehicle. Ford calculated costs of carrying freight and broke the figures down into pounds weight per 100 gallons. He used milk, oil, gasoline, eggs, and calculated what the weight would be with empty racks versus full racks. Ford calculated what it would cost to carry weights per bushel of apples, potatoes, rhubarb, tomatoes, barley and also showed how to distribute loads when carrying the freight. Weights per bushel of apples (50 lbs), tomatoes (55 lbs), clover (25 lbs), limes (80 lbs) charcoal (20 lbs), as this information would be important to a delivery man.
         Ford also considered the most efficient method of frequent delivery vehicles. He called it a Step-n-Drive Drop Frame Truck. A driver would sit when driving using pedals. Near the 1st stop, the driver would fold his seat up instantly and stand while using a single combination clutch and brake pedal. When checking his work load, he only needed to turn around to enter from behind the seat, rather than go to the back of the vehicle, to retrieve the goods/parcel. This provides the convenience of wagons with the motorized speed, covering greater territory.
         Ford also had a three way dump body vehicle. These would work from side to side & out the back (cost 250 dollars) Coal bodies included a high lift -1 ton for 750 dollars) and a 2 ton (1000 dollars) The coal body truck’s side and bottom were made from 10 gauge steel with no seams, rivets or bolts.
         Ford had a vertical hoist on some trucks that was mounted to frame on back of cab, He also had two hydraulic hoists, on the Model A (hand operated) and Model AP (Operated by truck motor) Of interest was the Hackney CO2 refrigerated bodies. One was used strictly for non frozen, such as fish, dairy and meat deliveries. The other Hackney CO2 delivery vehicle was strictly for frozen goods such as ice cream. Having read about Ford’s reasoning behind dry ice versus ice for deliveries, it all made perfect sense. The argument was about cost. Dry ice weighed half the weight of ice. Therefore an important characteristic of dry ice would be, no moisture to soak, no repainting or replacing metal parts due to corrosion. Dry ice turns from a solid to a gas with no drip. The cost of using Dry Ice would save a delivery truck for one year approximated between 900 and 2500 dollars.
         Ford trucks had two important efficiency accessories. One was a Governor, which once installed, was used on a vehicle to prevent strain from excessive speed. A governor cost 17.50 to install and it took 20 minutes to do so. It prevented racing in lower gears. It limited speed & expense but not power. It worked because power from gas velocity transmitted to rod and spring through gear sector and rack. The 2nd forces manifold vacuum on same rod & spring from pressure from a piston. It stops speeding and leads to longer engine life. The other was a recorder, which kept accurate records of a trucks activity per hour. Perhaps this was the beginning of the idea behind the GPS.
         Ford’s trucks had a variety of uses, including elevated towers for public utility vehicles which included ladders( primitive early crane), post hole diggers, hoist and winches(for telephone companies and contractors), engines with greater power (to pull boats , heavy cruisers or flatbed), adapted with advertising(giant milk bottle mounted on back, or giant camera-specifically for advertising purposes), demonstrating type vehicles (may show an oil burner inside, so a salesman could demonstrate door to door), folding seats( for delivery of passengers), window bars (armored vehicles), clothes racks ( for laundry and dry cleaners), centrifugal pumps ( could be easily mounted for painters, contractors- and they also came with ladder carriers)
         Taxicabs came equipped with silk curtains. Ambulances came equipped a medicine chest, heater, fan, thermos bottles, wash basin, and a stretcher. Funeral hearses came equipped with green mohair casket stops.
         Each vehicle was listed with Operating Cost Analysis charts, which included based on an average of 85 miles per day, Cost Per Mile, Cost Per day, Cost Per Year. Ford even figured in depreciation. He listed Ford Fleet Owners of many national companies owning 200 or more of his Ford trucks. American Telegraph and Telephone Company & subs owned by far most at 8207 units. Swift company & subsidiaries came in second owning 2957 units.
         I visited Ford’s summer home in Fort Myers and was told a great story about the man. One day a delivery driver came on the Edison/Ford property, and was stopped at the gate by none other than Henry Ford, although the delivery driver was unaware it was Mr Ford. Ford then proceeded to ask the driver all about his truck, what he liked and what he did not like. The driver shared his experiences about the vehicle with Ford and finally drove off to make the delivery. Asked what held the delivery man up, he explained a man had interrogated him at the gate. It was then he learned it was none other than Henry Ford himself.

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

Bittersweet, it's ok

2011-06-01T03:41:26Z

It has been a couple of months since I posted but really I have not been idle. In fact, I don't know too many moms and dads who have much idle time. My husband and I went away together... alone. I am not sure if this would be considered a phenomenon of parents who are caregivers to their disabled chilren or disabled young adults like one of our sons, however, it was not easy to just leave. Although, I perfectly trust my other capable adult son to care for his older brother, I still had a sense of urgency to get things in order, in the event something should happen to us. I prepared extensive medical notes with my son's meds and medical history, physician contacts and vital information. This will be something attached to his wheelchair. Also in this time frame before we left, I facilitated a new pulmonologist for my son. It was not easy because I wanted to present myself as intelligent and articulate and educated in what my son needs to be healthy. I wanted this doctor because he follows a different protocol than the other doctors in the practice and he has educated himself in the care of patients with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. He sees another young man I know with MD. Up until recently, I have experienced that many of the doctors disregard the knowledge that parents possess, possibly because they may not have the experience, and perhaps they do not have the time to do the research. I mean no disrespect to doctors at all. In fact, recently I told the new pulmonary doctor that I know many women across the country whom have emailed a certain specialist from the ER rooms where their children lie, usually critical, and this specialist will email the families back almost immediately with instructions for the local doctors. I know this because I am in touch with many families around the world via Facebook, whose sons share the same illness that my son has. The expertise and knowledge shared between parents is extremely valuable. There is no need to keep reinventing the wheel and to expect doctors to know everything. I did quite a bit of homework for our first appt. with this new doctor. I read a book and highlighted information on a packet of papers, in order to be proactive in our son's care. I told the doctor that I wanted to know that when an emergency arises with my son, that I do not have to spend valuable time arguing with them regarding his care. We want a solid team of professionals who will listen to us and most importantly will listen to our other son, in case my husband and I are absent and our affected son may not be able to speak for himself. My son agreed to fill out a medical Power of Attorney . I also filled out medical directives for myself. This week, we will also be receiving some new equipment, two ventilators, one for day and one for night. We will all be trained on it. My son has mixed feelings about needing more equipment, and I suppose that is valid. I recall when he received his first wheelchair, then the hospital bed, then a hoyer lift, then a cough assist machine, then a bipap, and now new vents. It may be bittersweet, but everything will be ok once we all get used to the new hardware.

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

MEMORIAL DAY 2011

2011-05-28T23:04:18Z

Thinking back through the years, I recall living at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in 1991 for two months. We had flown there from Bad Kissingen , Germany. I was there because we were trying to find out what was wrong with our four year old son. Our lives were forever changed, however we have come a long way since then. In later years, I recall how our media vilified Walter Reed after veterans started coming home and we did not have enough facilities to care for them. I thought that the medical staff at Walter Reed Army Medical Center was excellent. At the time we were there, we were not at war and there was not a lot of strain on US military medical resources. It happened during every war…. not enough supplies… not enough life boats… not enough of anything and certainly not enough medical care to treat those coming home. Imagine what it was like during WW2 when those lucky enough to come home, thousands upon thousands needing care when they reached our shores again? Imagine those same young men who joined the military to fight a war on two fronts, the European Theatre and the Pacific Theatre ? Many joined because they were hungry and so were their families. They were children of the Great Depression and they never turned back once they left. I have read diaries of Westbrook soldiers who went to Okinawa and know of several Westbrook families who sustained great loss, one family had six sons who served during WW2. Another family had four sons, and two died in Europe. One ordinary man flew 33 missions and came back to work at SD Warren. They just did what was expected of them and they returned men. So when we get upset because our soldiers do not have the best of everything, remember the soldiers before them, in every war. The ultimate sacrifice was paid by many a young man and woman. I know a woman who was a nurse in Vietnam and was part of a surgical team on the aircraft as they brought home young men from Vietnam, and she saw many who did not make the flight. She flew back and forth picking up the wounded and caring for them. This woman served a very long time and lost 2 husbands who were both pilots. Imagine such a loss… and I will always remember what my friend Phil, who passed away a year ago, once told me. He was a veteran of WW2 and his diary told of his worry and uncertainty of his journey across the Pacific, not knowing his destiny would be Okinawa. He was a born historian and not surprisingly his father also kept a journal of his experiences during WW1 in France. Phil told me that there could not be an Independence Day without a Memorial Day. We cannot celebrate our freedom without the day of rememberance.

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

Convenience or Inconvenience

2011-03-24T12:47:00Z

        Today, thinking of both definitions of convenience and inconvenience, I paused to really think what each meant to me. Sometimes they can both be viewed to be a bad thing. Convenience took us away from the hum drum of everyday toil raising our own crops to the modern day grocery store where after 50 years or so, people have no idea how to grow their own food and be self sufficient. Convenience brought us the remote control so now we must no longer get off the couch to turn off the television. Convenience took us away from the dinner table with conversation amongst family to fast food on the way home so we can spend more time with our family. Convenience has made us overweight and unprepared. Our love affair with gadgets from cell phones to Ipods, to computers all with Wifi and 24/7 access to global events is more than we need. This leads me to my next thought about who controls the flow of information?
         I would have said a few years ago that governments control the flow of information however today I think it is Google who is now in charge. I believe Google is fighting for control of what information we will receive and they are fighting for that title globally. Their name is on my Verizon Droidx phone. In order to make comments on my Youtube account now, I must link to Google and use a password. My thoughts are that Google will be in control of the distribution of information and will share our information with anyone of their choice. Of course these ate my own beliefs.
         Lastly, the word inconvenience is one I have been pondering for the past couple of days. Is a new baby, or a pet an inconvenience, an interruption to our old lives? Taking care of an elderly parent, could possibly be regarded as an inconvenience. Perhaps one day, we will take a moment to pause and think, perhaps these inconveniences or interruptions are somehow meant to humble us for a bit. Caregiving is about putting someone’s needs before your own sometimes, however still trying to take care of yourself in the meantime. I was going to be in a road race this past weekend and was not sure I would make it because my young adult son was sick. Rather than get myself all stressed about it, I focused on what he needed. We got him well enough to take to my parents for a few hours so I could participate in the race. Afterwards, I drove immediately back there and avoided all the free food and accolades. These are the type of concessions we must sometimes make. I have no complaints as I just try to make the most of all we have. It all depends on how we perceive things whether or not something is viewed as an inconvenience or not. Our attitudes have a lot to do with how we view it.
        Some may think it is an inconvenience to care for an adult son who is completely dependent on me for his daily activities, such as getting dressed, toileting, feeding, grooming. However, I am devoted to care for him because that is my duty and a big part of who I have become. Divine Intervention? I think that Divine Intervention has occurred quite often in my life. It has saved me from being killed in accidents, avoiding accidents, given me closure when my feelings of a relative at death’s door called me one last time, just in time to say goodbye. These things have happened often. Lastly, I used to feel we were victims of this illness my son has, however now I feel that it was no mistake that life hands us these challenges. I am grateful for both of my sons and they are whom they were meant to be ,even if it may not conveniently fit the norm. For this, I am grateful.

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Christmas 2010

2010-12-26T18:46:00Z

                    Christmas then, Christmas now. From our earliest memories of Christmases past spent with siblings, to where we are all today, Christmas is surely to bring with it the many emotions that are within all of us. “He knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sakes!” [1934, Haven Gillespie, J. Fred Coots], must be in the back of everyone’s mind because kindness & patience are in the air at Christmastime.
                     My earliest memory was playing in my room alongside of my brother as we had awoken to find big stuffed stockings on our beds. It seemed we played for hours. I recall my brother had a tin y metal carrier truck with tiny metal cars that fit onto it. Even then, I do not remember what I had except maybe one of those little vinyl purses with a clear front, printed back and a mirror and comb under a snapped opening. I can still smell that new fresh vinyl smell of Christmas morning. Some of my earliest memories were coming down the stairs and seeing sleds for us, which were standing up against the wall, unwrapped… and another year, seeing 3 rocking chairs with our names hand-lettered onto the backs. Our littlest sister didn’t have a rocking chair because that was probably the year she was born just before Christmas in November. How Santa knew all our names and how to spell them was amazing to me. One year we listened to the radio with updates of Santa flying over Maine. We were all sitting around the table with our father. He then told us to look out the window because there was a bright red light in the sky. It was Rudolph’s nose!! Actually, only later did I find out it was the light on one of those radio towers. Then there was the year we got up very early, all four of us. It was about 430AM when the phone rang. It our cousin across the street who told me to get ourselves back to bed because our parents had just gone to bed. I told my siblings that all we had to do was close the shades so our cousin couldn’t see us. The memories are still there 45 years later. I had a wonderful childhood, full of warm memories with my siblings and the life our parents gave to us. Those memories form our Christmas from year to year as we keep adding new memories and traditions.
                     Over the years we have all had losses, and we must carry forward to make the best of what we have. When we lost grandparents, two cousins, and other people who were important to us, finding meaning during the Christmas season sometimes was not easy. Over the years, I have tried to stay in touch with many parents who have kids with Muscular Dystrophy. We can help each other with our knowledge and be supportive and will do whatever we can to help each other. Some have lost their sons and we must keep them close to our hearts. They have a lot to share with the rest of us. Today the community is closer and quicker to get responses because of social network sites like Face book. I was recently looking for information on how to reach a famed muscular dystrophy doctor in New Jersey. Within 5 minutes I had his contact info, including email addresses as parents from all over the world responded to my request. I see this as a valuable tool to give the best care to our children and our adult children. My need to be a part of this social network site is more important than my need to opt out of it, as I did previously. If adding pictures which show why we need a new piece of equipment for a wheelchair helps others in their quest to also get equipment aiding in their child’s independence, then the site is extremely worthwhile. Lastly, parents who have lost their children also need to be able to share their information with the rest of us. It is a win- win situation, but sometimes also bittersweet. Thank goodness for my DMD family. You are always there for me. The social network sites generally bring about a kind of support for each other because we are generally interested in how others are doing.
                     Each Christmas, I think of those who are no longer here and I know in my heart, they would want us to find love and peace each holiday season. They are never forgotten because they have been a large part of our lives and our Christmases past. There are always others we need to focus on throughout the year who may need us, whether it is a neighbor, someone in a nursing home, a parent, a friend, or a Christmas Family for whom the office may be purchasing presents. Christmas is a wonderful time to remind us to think of others throughout the year because we need to think beyond ourselves and our own problems. With this written, I must agree that there really is a Santa Claus. May God bless you all in the New Year. We are all thankful you are part of our lives.

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The Death of In Your Facebook

2010-09-11T21:42:00Z

                    Well last night after checking my status on Facebook, I was mortified what I had found. I had previously posted an article which I thought was interesting and somewhat political. It was a story about the think tank Maine Heritage Policy Center. The Center said that Maine was the state with the highest amount of people on welfare, one in three being dependent. My comment was ‘Good article’. One of my friends is very liberal and has quite a following of progressive thinkers who read her blog. Between my relatives who are conservative and her postings, I felt hurt by what I saw posted. By no means do I think I am thin skinned, but I have many people with whom I discuss ideas and in no way have I ever felt I was absolutely right all the time. Also in no way have I ever resorted to name calling. We are supposed to be respectful of others and try to listen to their ideas as well. There was a great deal of attacking going on in the post, so I decided with much regret to post one last comment.
                     “It is with much regret that I am deactivating my Facebook Account. I have enjoyed it as a tool to keep in touch with family across the globe, and friends, some who grew up in Redbank and others who are DMD moms. It was a great way to share. In the meantime, this will free up my time to pursue other things like my blog http://blog.likes2write.com and to reach me by email fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com . I also have to work on my ornaments for the upcoming fairs. I love you all and I will miss our daily contact.”
                     So today, Sept 11, 2010 is a day with great importance to the world, especially the American people who felt the pain of that day upon our own soil. Today is my first day without Facebook and I miss it already. However my life will go on, like it did before Facebook. I am hoping the year will be filled with more tolerance between family and friends.

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Random Thoughts

2010-08-17T18:31:00Z

Since I just finished vacation, having spent hours of my day conversing about domestic politics and world affairs, playing dominoes, running, biking, swimming, reading all the local rags, embroidering and visiting; some might wonder if it really was a vacation. I can assure you it was because I spent each day exactly as I wanted. Of course this doesn’t count all the random thoughts that race around our heads.
                     I have a few goals for myself and I think of how I will accomplish the physical challenges of those goals. I plan to run a 5k race on Labor Day. My webpage has been idle for three years, and I need to do something with that. This is the site I want to build so I can sell my ornaments. My fear is that one day I shall wake up and have a million orders. That is probably ridiculous to fear that because it would spell success to others.
                     With some of the things I want to accomplish, the enemy is time. I am at an age that I feel I have to finish some of these projects, if only I did not have a full time job. I am careful how I choose to spend my time. It is sort of like when one buys a house and you build equity. At some point the value of your house outweighs purchasing another house. It makes no sense to double up on payments after you have owned your house for half the life of the mortgage. It is wiser to use your extra money elsewhere.
                     We all have albatrosses around our necks. Our family has a handicap van which typically costs the price of two vans combined (about 42,000). I have thought often about providing a service to those who need transport and are at the mercy of transportation which needs to be reserved 3 days in advance. The rest of the world does not have to reserve three days ahead of time, so why should the disabled community? The cost of the van is paid for with money my son receives in assistance. We would not need a van for transport if he was not part of our family. Having a family member who is wheelchair bound, requires a lot of money. The van had to be financed for ten years, and of course it will probably not last that long. The funniest letter I received was from the bank upon our purchase of the van. “Congratulations on the purchase of your recreational vehicle.”
                     There are others struggling to maintain what they have. A local young man who just turned twenty-one and previously received 24/7 care in his home has had his services reduced to three hours per day. The young man has multiple disabilities, is non verbal and non ambulatory, and his parents are working full time. I worry about them and what may happen regarding their son’s care. The current financial crisis in the state of Maine leaves many people at risk in the same predicament. In a time when so many people think everyone deserves some sort of handout, I believe the best helping hand is at the end of your arm. The wallet is empty.
                     It is good to be back from vacation and back into the work mode, but there is always something to do…..and I love it.

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Conversation, A Lost Art

2010-08-04T04:46:00Z

                    The art of blogging is my way to stay connected and share ideas which I find informative and interesting as well as a way to tell my stories. Sometimes I am not always sure what I will write. I have a folder stuffed with articles I have found interesting and hope to use as part of my blog content.
                     I am particularly interested in communication since time began as well as current affairs, and changes within individual families and how family life has changed over the years before the industrial revolution. These topics are repeated over and over in my blog because I find we need to stay connected to what is important and quite often those are values which have been eroded over time. Of course, this is only my opinion, but my beliefs are deep rooted.
                     Recently I read an article in AARP, dated March/April 2010, written by David Dudley. He is the editor of Urbanite Magazine out of Baltimore. The magazine was in a doctor’s office but I delighted in the very beginning…”We tweet, we text, we e-mail. Everybody’s chatting, but is anybody listening? Why America needs to revive the vanishing art of conversation. We need to talk.”
He begins his story in the park with his little daughter and as she is talking away, he is answering an e-mail, somewhat out of touch with what she is talking about. He looked up to notice others connected to their iPods, and blackberries. He had a moment of realization.
                     The article mentioned Daniel Menaker (editor of New Yorker and Random House), who writes about conversation in his book, “A Good Talk: The Story and Skill of Conversation” He says he is worried because he feels that people today may feel obligated to be available in a public space, such as the many social networking online sites. It seems to me that email may be no longer enough. Menaker feels that we may become a country of overly connected hermits. I think Menaker makes a valid point.
Thinking about my own email, it usually consists of comments from Facebook. Whenever our extended family does get together, the younger teens are often unavailable for conversation if they are connected to their technology.
                     The article also mentions a psychiatrist from Harvard, Richard Schwartz, who co-authored with his wife a book entitled , “The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-first Century”. Simultaneous Connection and Isolation are what our lives are about these days. He told of a patient asking if they could do a counseling session over the telephone.
                     According to Menaker, the golden age of conversation was in the pre-industrial era. Ideas came about because dialogue was exchanged. It was a civil society. Menaker spoke of his feelings that there will be a loss of humane regard as digital technology is on the rise. People can post anonymously and write what they wish , oftentimes with no regard to another person’s feelings.
                     Jacqueline Leo, former editor in chief of Readers Digest, writes in her book, “Seven: the number for Happiness, Love and Success”, about the distractions of digital media and the loss of the art of listening. She thinks that because we are addicted to the technology because of our conceit, that we cannot put it down. Technology gives us a feeling of importance.
                     All in all, I must say I am going to try to be more conscious of how I spend my time, but not before I post this to my Facebook. Then I am going to see if I can join Facebook anonymous because I know that I am not the only one!

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Okinawa Diary

2010-06-09T03:12:00Z

                Mr Philip LaViolet, of Westbrook, was 18 at the time of the invasion of Okinawa. He passed away last year. Phil wrote "April 10th, 1945- Most of the Boys except a few moved down to our new Bivouac area where our big depot is going to be. As we passed the 96th DIV. cemetery, they were burying our soldiers and there were about 25 crosses. I’ll bet than in a few weeks we won’t be able to count all the crosses in this cemetery.”
                 This excerpt taken from Phil’s diary that he transcribed for the Westbrook Historical Society was quite revealing and poignant. That excerpt was written the first week of the invasion. I knew Phil for a few years and enjoyed talking with him often when he would come up to the historical society to work on his war veteran collection. I still miss his stories and his presence there.
I knew about Phil’s diary but never read it while he was alive. He wrote with great humor, detail and with great historical references. I believe he was a born historian. After reading his diary, I am convinced of that.
                 He joined the army like so many young men of that generation did. Basic training was at Camp Shelby in Louisiana , with weeks of sleeping on the ground outside in the cow pastures full of manure and mud. There was a comical drawing made by one of his comrades of Bugs, known as Major Pritz. One of the fellows gave him that nickname because he had two front teeth which protruded. In Phil’s descriptions, every time Bugs would shout orders, they all began with, “Damn it!” The writing is very descriptive and it appears that the guys were entertained with Bugs’ charades. In later years, Phil had handwritten an addition to an excerpt explaining that they had the highest respect for Bugs, and the humorous anecdotes were in no way meant to be disrespectful of the man they calls Bugs. Several times in the diary, Phil credits Bugs for turning them all into men, part of a fine unit. He credits Bugs for helping to prepare them for what they were later to experience as the Invasion of Okinawa on April 1st, 1945.
                 One of his fellow friends was named Edward Sestak. I can’t help but wonder if Joe Sestak, veteran and politician, from Pennsylvania may have been a relation, because his family has military ties. It is interesting to read history and find these connections.
                 He wrote about their Sunday services and how they were lucky to have them. Interestingly, he noted that there were many more fellows attending these services than did so while in the States. He wondered if they were afraid, or cowards who wanted to repent. Phil was raised with a strong religious background in the town of Westbrook, Maine. He told me once that since there was no Catholic High School, his mother sent him to Worcester, Massachusetts to attend Assumption College High School to continue his religious education. Jokingly he told me that his mother didn’t think there would be too many girl distractions in Worcester, but Phil said that of course there were girls down there.
                Once I started reading, I could not put the diary down. It was compelling to read as he wrote with much description. Phil wrote about the huge convoy headed for the Pacific somewhere. As far as he could see, he estimated about five thousand ships, and described destroyers, carriers, tankers, battleships and so on. At some point the convoy became smaller Phil mentioned. He thought it had split. In fact, when they finally found out that they were headed to Okinawa, he wrote about the convoy meeting again for the invasion. His description of the ships all together was most impressive. He felt that the invasion was larger than the one at Normandy. (Battle of Okinawa was the largest amphibious invasion of the Pacific Campaign , quoted by one Okinawan as “storm of steel”) Quite often in his writing, he reveals his belief that there will be much friction between the European Theatre and the Pacific Theatre. The reasons were that their European counterparts had towns, taverns, women and were basically spoiled in comparison to those serving in the Pacific. The European Theatre also had USO shows. He wrote that this friction that would be ever present.
                 This young man thought and wrote as he journeyed across the ocean unaware of where he was headed or what was in store for him. Their only stop would be in Hawaii for a while. Before they left, Bugs spoke to the men and told them he would not be going with them but would be joining them shortly. Phil wrote how Bugs appeared a little choked up, but assured the men that they would be ok. He mentioned how Bugs probably just told them that to help prepare them all, unsure what their destination held for each of them. It had been 56 days with no mail from home. The moral was not good.
                 Kamikaze planes shot at a few of the allied ships, in all taking out about 34 ships. The Japanese aircraft loss was very significant in the Invasion of Okinawa, almost eight thousand planes. Upon arrival, amphibious landings proved successful partly due to all the practice landings they had done. Phil wrote how they heard Tokyo Rose broadcasting and calling men in their unit by name as they were landing. Okinawa was situated about 400 miles south of Japan, proving to be a strategic location to cut off Japanese sea lines of communication and also their supply lines of materials from the south. The Japanese on the island did not choose to fight allies at the beach, but rather waited inland. By nightfall some 60,000 landed on the beach unopposed. Immediately, roads were built, and camps set up trenches and foxholes dug to accommodate all the soldiers. Then nearly every night they were raided by Japanese, either by planes or by snipers, sometimes flying so close to the foxholes, you could light a cigarette, Phil wrote.
                Communication of world events was significantly far different then in comparison to today. For instance, Phil wrote that they heard had heard of the death of FDR ,however it was two days later when they received the news of their Commander in Chief’s death. They had also heard of Germany’s surrender later.
                About two or three weeks later, “Bugs” Major Pritz joined his troops again. The men were happy to see him, however their experiences had been quite intense since they last saw Bugs. The first day upon Bugs’ arrival, there was an air raid and the men grabbed their helmets and ran for cover, some for the foxholes. Bugs jumped into a foxhole and LaViolet later wrote that Bugs had pissed his pants. It wasn’t long before Bugs was shouting orders and busting people. LaViolet wrote that Bugs should be careful because “over here” someone wouldn’t care and could put a bullet into Bug's head. This was in May.
                On June 20th, LaViolet writes about General Bruckner getting killed because he wanted to see what the infantry was up to in Naha, capital of Okinawa and was caught in battle. Throughout his diary, he writes of the fighting, and death around him as he did in June when he wrote of six Japanese men killed. On July 5th, a dud exploded, killing twenty five Americans. His diary is full of photos of his comrades and places and events. He also attached several articles of historical interest to the campaign and also Japanese customs, though like any soldier did not think kindly of the enemy. Phil wrote of meeting a fellow Westbrook boy named Gerald Fluett in August. On August 10th Phil wrote of the excitement in the use of the A-Bomb to end this war. The following day, August 11th, there was a wild excitement and reckless celebration over the rumor that the Japanese were going to surrender. The reckless behavior continued long after the commanding officer’s shouts to stop the behavior were ignored. Phil and others dove onto the ground with helmets to avoid the gunshots by fellow soldiers. After the ordeal was over, six men had been killed from the wild behavior. Phil wrote that the guys went crazy when they heard rumor of surrender. Once the surrender did take place, Phil and some fellow soldiers went into town to look around. Evidently, they entered a building that had been shelled and they were scavenging. They heard some noises and a group of soldiers found some Japanese soldiers hiding. The Japanese were shot. They could have easily shot the Americans because the Americans were unaware they were so close.
                 He later wrote of men having accumulated points. The men with the most points, because of being married and/or having children, would be allowed to go home first. It seems there was a lot of bureaucracy in getting the men home and frustrations mounted. At the end, LaViolet was to be part of the Occupied Army and was stationed in Korea after the war. It took some time but he finally got home.
                I am grateful I finally read of Phil’s experiences. I have always held him in high esteem, a good humble family man whose true gift was his passion for history and his devotion to God and family and friends.

I sought permission from one of Phil's daughters to post this story and she obliged graciously.

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

RESPECT

2010-05-12T04:03:00Z

A recent trip to Florida, I met a new older woman who I enjoyed conversing with immensely. She was retired as a patient service coordinator, the liaison between patients and doctors and the facilitation of necessary medical services which could help the patient. She loved her job and she was good at it. I had a great sense of that after our day long journey on the water filled with conversation. With the various experiences our family has had with the medical field, I know just how important her job is to patients.
                     She was full of wisdom and that is why I think I have always enjoyed conversing with those who have experienced life longer than me. They have a different perspective on how it all fits together. She said that it all boils down to “A little respect goes a long way” She spoke of how she put up with a lot of things with her first husband that she would never put up with now. She was also working in a funeral business talking with families who had come to make arrangements for their loved ones. She also was very good at that. Sometimes people just need to talk and have someone listen to them.
                     The older I get, the more I seem to understand about certain things. I always believed in God but was not really sure of what role God played in my particular life. Some of my life experiences, I have consciously reached for help in my distress. I found by doing so that I was able to come to some peace with turmoil I had been experiencing. Anyone who has been married for any length of time could tell you if they chose to share, that it is difficult sometimes to stay together because we all change as time marches on. We handle things differently and it is not always together as a couple. Marriage is different for all of us. I have come to believe that it is our faith that helps us through painful life experiences and for some, to persevere through the bad times as well as the good times. Marriage is not for wimps. Some people just accept their lot in life and try to find meaning in that. Maybe I am way off, but this is what I have come to believe.
                     Acceptance ….accept ourselves that we could possibly be similar to our parents whom we do not always tolerate…..accept our parents because they did nothing but try their best, with no instructions to raise us into decent human beings, and always loved us unconditionally even when we disappointed them….accept your children the same way your parents accepted you. Life is sometimes sad when we don’t receive what we expected, in the form of perfect children, perfect spouses, and aging parents. Life is about constant change and how we choose to react. Each day is new, and the older we get, we can count our blessings that we saw the sun shine again, or the snow fall. Live life, because it is now. Time wasted is just that. Time wasted. Ask yourselves, what can you do to make things a little nicer for someone else? After all we have to live with our own selves and it is “not all about me”. There is room enough to fill your hearts with love and face the day with a smile knowing that you did your best today.

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Acceptance is a Rare Gift

2010-03-31T04:09:00Z

            It has been a long time since I put pen to paper. Now that I am back home, enjoying life in my new kitchen, it is time to start posting some more blogs. You know the older I get, I am so lucky to have a nice family. You can fill your life up with so many distractions… that sometimes we forget what is important. At the end of the day, it is my parent’s and my sisters whom I call each day, sometimes more than once. I spoke with my sisters about this and one of my sisters feels the same, but the other sister is very independent and knows our parents are always there for her, so she seldom calls, as she is very busy herself. Once I read a newspaper column about a man who was en route to the emergency room, very upset because he had no time for being sick. He filled his life with work… and in the end, at the emergency room as he lay dying, there was nobody with him…..and yes that article bothered me somewhat. It stuck with me.
             Since I am back home, I have been trying to be more tolerant of those who need me a little more than I sometimes wish to spend. It is difficult to be a caregiver but it is not the person’s fault in any way. Sometime’s it is a lesson I need to be taught, for whatever reason. Life is really about acceptance on many different levels. I have a lot to learn because after all, none of us are finished products.
             Sometimes it is about having to let go… letting go of bothersome issues with the past and somehow finding peace with them, letting go of feeling like we are in some sort of control of our young adult children, because they have already learned what you tried to teach them, and letting go of demons from the past. I can say that I believe that women and men of yesteryear, had so many issues as married couples, but they never burdened their kids with them. Sometimes I wonder if it is better that we were left out of the realities of marriage, of parenthood, the realities of childbirth and the realities of being a woman.
            Today a woman has so many choices but it boils down to one thing. We cannot have it all even though we have been led to believe that we can have it all. Something has to be sacrificed. I do not wish to be a big CEO executive. I want to find balance between being a mom, a wife and something for me. I think most women feel this way, if they are part of a family. I do not want to be identified by my work, even though what I do as a hobby is important to me, more important than my real life profession.
I think about people I knew and are now long gone…and what I learned from them. I learned from my cousin Marietta about the grace of trying to live as normal a life as she could. She was tough in her own way. She lived before inclusion became a law and never had full independence and she died at the age of thirty-one in a nursing home because her mother died a few years before from cancer.
            I recall David Roberts, the young man who lived down the street. He just lived his life, and experienced many medical difficulties. He went to dialysis three times per week, but rode a bike often and made puzzles and toys from wood. It is the hope that tomorrow will be a better day and to accept that. That takes a great deal of courage and grace. These people I knew have so much to offer and they think that their lives have nothing to offer…. Though they are rich in the experience and the secret of the happiness to life…because their distractions are prioritized…… if only we could know where our priorities lie… and then we would unlock the secret to the real happiness in our lives. May we all learn acceptance somewhere along the way, and to recognize when it is presented to us.

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CURRENT EVENTS EDITORIAL

2010-03-12T04:08:00Z

The current political events of the day, seem to get me wound up on so many levels. I believe that the destruction of the US dollar, our economy and Capitalism are inevitable because the new global economy, and world health system, redistribution of wealth will replace our current government. I believe that Capitalism needs to be destroyed if it is to be replaced by a new global government and currency. Capitalism is a threat to the new world order, I believe. After all, why would anyone ever want to get ahead? Of course I am being facetious .I think our grandfathers who fought in World War 2 would not recognize what they were fighting for today because today we are becoming more of a communistic society. Their war would not be won, because of 24/7 newsfeeds. Then everyone was part of the war effort, not like today where America is so far removed from the warfront that they are most likely shopping somewhere. Soldiers and their actions would be scrutized, held to a standard which nobody could attain. This is only my belief. Unfortunately , some news stations warn of the US government straying from the US Constitution. It stirs discontent amongst us, which is good, because we need to be aware. However, the US government has been far removed from the US Constitution since before the Great Depression. People lost everything during the Depression, had land confiscated and generally lost all their properties and basic human rights which were violated. Some were even murdered by their own US soldiers, including a time when Patton, Eisenhower , and other notables took orders from their Commander in Chief (US President) and fired and bayoneted the citizens of the US because the citizens only wanted their Bonuses for serving in WW1 which they had been promised. They had marched on Washington, ten or so years after the war and after the attack, they left empty handed with no bonus money. The reason for the Bonus Marchers journey to Washington, was that many were unemployed and had very hungry families at home . Today unemployment in many counties across America is at twenty percent. People who worked on the trains allowed many to ride the rails for free hopping on boxcars all across America to convene in Washington DC to collect their bonus money. It happened then and it can happen again. People were starved and it continued for much longer than needed- all because those in power wanted to keep the average person down. Though President Hoover was pretty much blamed for the Stock Market Crash, it was FDR who was accused of prolonging the Great Depression, a time when people in America actually died from starvation. Many people interviewed in Studs Terkel’s book, Hard Times, referred to FDR as the Great Destroyer. Knowing the history of our country can help us not to repeat the same mistakes . Today, so many rely on the US government to solve so many of their problems, and some are seemingly just plain lazy, that we are not so different from our Communist counterparts, waiting for that check to come in so we can buy our food, pay our rent and get whatever it is that we are ‘entitled’. It reminds me of the time I lived In Germany when the wall came down and the feelings the West Germans had for their East German neighbors. Many felt that the East Germans had become lazy over time, waiting for the government to solve their problems and they became infuriated when the East Germans came to West Germany to take jobs and get priority housing and retrieve their government checks at the work station. The East Germans received assistance and discontent grew amongst the West Germans because they subsidized those entitlement checks. We have grown lazy and I wonder why our grandfathers ever fought WW2, because they would not recognize the complacency which has replaced being actively involved in government affairs. Complacent,uninformed,and many uneducated citizens have replaced the last generation. Is it always a good thing to give your children everything, so that they may have a better life than yours? My thoughts are as follows. After reading a lifetime’s worth of diaries from the mid 1800’s of an ancestor, I have found that money was regarded as a highly valued tool. My ancestors did not have their mailboxes filled with catalogs, or a television selling them 24/7 items that they felt they needed, or malls or magazines…or grocery stores They took a newspaper once a week which had advertisements. My ancestors, bought only what they needed, spent very little on frivolous things, and more importantly had a great deal of money because taxes were not that high .I read about transactions of thousands of dollars, in a time when taxes were 24 dollars per year, including property, and poll taxes. I read most often that money was used as a tool, and when loaning to relatives, the stipulation was to always pay back with interest. Nobody was ‘given’ anything. There were no free rides .It is interesting to compare that time period when prices were tied to the land, for instance the cost of grain compared to today and how the dollar is all afloat, not tied to anything of great value. I have come to believe that were are chained to China and Americans may want to rethink their dependency upon China. Americans should be concerned.

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My Personal Trainer

2010-01-26T04:44:00Z

The past few months have been very busy. Since June, I made a commitment to myself, to change my ways and make exercise a part of my life. If it was not for my husband, I would not have connected with a trainer who changed my life. My husband paid my trainer up front for a few months of sessions, so that I could begin to feel better. He gave me a business card and told me to call the trainer, whose name is Davis. Remembering our first meeting, I recall how scared I was to meet with my trainer. I was embarrassed that I had let myself get into such bad shape over the years. Since Davis was only 20 years old, I was also intimidated by his youthfulness and athletic ability but I quickly realized how dedicated he was to health and fitness. I knew I had to make some changes because I felt I would not live long as I did not feel well. Davis was committed to me three times per week. Every visit was different as he mixed up the circuits and exercise. He quickly learned what my abilities were and planned every meeting with my exercise program in order. I can honestly say I seldom did anything twice. I ran up and down the stairs at the old Dana Warp Mill, lifted weights, did cardio workouts on the stair master , hopped, jumped, ran and did extreme abdominal workouts. I did jumping jacks, hopped across rope ladder rungs and threw heavy medicine balls. I laid on my back doing abdominal twists, scissors and bridges. Later on, I would meet him at a track and I was able to work my way up to running nonstop for one mile. I ran up and down the football field, ran up and down the bleachers and also ran up and down the hill. Davis has been a wealth of information and as I told his employer, “Davis knows his stuff and has changed my life”. I learned how to do planks, bridges and rows, and dead lifts, thanks to Davis.
My reason for mentioning all of this is that it has been six months and we have reached the end of our 3x per week training sessions. I have lost 22 pounds and about four inches around my waist. If I can do it, any one of you can do it. Too many people are looking for quick weight loss solutions but I firmly believe that it takes very hard work to achieve your goals. I have done things I never thought I could do and Davis pushed me harder than anyone ever has pushed me. There are no quick solutions. The best advice I could give anyone I know is to hire a personal trainer because I have learned so much from Davis. I would highly recommend him because he is very serious and he is dedicated to helping you achieve your goals. You can't put a price on good fitness and I can honestly say I feel like I have my former life back. My weight was about 190 lbs and it incapacitated me. If anyone is serious about changing their lifestyle, I can put you in touch with Davis. I am going to miss my sessions with him. Thank you Davis, for being committed to showing me the way to a lifestyle filled with better health and fitness. You have changed my life. I hope to still see you at the gym.

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The Day the Music Died

2010-01-12T05:12:00Z

The Day the Music Died

1970……doesn’t seem very long ago. In the seventies, various forms of music delivery were possible. Everything was hard copy. I had friends with eight track players, cassette players and we all had vinyl. As a young teen, I had a large vinyl collection which soon sat on the shelf collecting dust as I began purchasing cassettes as they became my music media of choice. As an adult, I prefer to purchase CD’s now digitally mastered. Today my kids listen to YouTube or they purchase iTunes which enables them to prepay for downloads. Vinyl had dimension. In comparison to listening to a digitally mastered CD, my belief is that the music is very flat, no volume. With technology continually bursting upon the horizon, something is always lost however the excitement of something new and innovative holds our interests. The day the Music died, doesn't just refer to the death of Buddy Holly from Don McLean's song American Pie. The music has changed today.
Back in the fifties,, several artists might sing the same song hence many covers available for purchase. I think today several artists are doing the same thing. The technology is amazing. The popularity of YouTube is partly due to the social networking it promotes amongst the people. The baby boomers enjoy the nostalgia of searching for old clips from television programs, and all ages enjoy the tutorials. Occasional humorous clips entertain all ages. It is a tool, also a way to spread messages across the masses. Now imagine if we had to go back to the days before the internet. I read an article from WebBiz Winter 2010 issue. It stated that the internet had first been available to college students. A college student Marc Andreeson, age 21, worked on the first browser Mosaic which quickly spread by “word of mouth” [the viral loop] over the internet. According to the article by Adam Penenberg, when Bill Clinton became President in 1993, there were approximately 20 websites. Penenburg said today there are over one billion websites today. From the days of my youth, I would write a letter and anxiously await a reply when today I can have an instant reply either by email or by instant messaging via the web. I can probably say that I am grateful I did not have these distractions as a young girl. How could our kids possibly understand our world before the internet?

The Wall Street Journal dated January 11^th, 2010 had an article by L. Gordon Crovitz {Information Age} entitled ‘China’s Web Crackdown Continues’ kept my interest as I read about Nicholae Ceausescu and his oppression of the people of Romania. Who would have thought that owning a typewriter warranted registering it or one could be committing a crime punishable by death?This was in 1967. It was all about the control of information and the power to censor material written against the leader who was eventually tried and executed with the collapse of communism some twenty or more years later. Today, no matter where one lives, governments control the flow of information to the masses. In the United States, we may be known to have several alternative forms of media, unlike the rest of the world, however it is my belief that our delivery of information is somewhat censored depending upon the subject matter. I can safely say after reading the article, I feel fortunate that I can access sites such as YouTube, Twitter and Face book, all sites banned in China. However last week many Chinese, some 300 million internet users were surprised to find they could access sites for a short time until the government stepped it up to replace the sites with error messages. I think it is basically a tool to keep the people suppressed, so they will not revolt against their government. Those in charge are afraid of the masses because we out number them. Their government monitors the people through their internet use. Hmmm… I wonder what our government is doing in this regard. This all reminds me of the mill workers in the late 1800’s. Mill bosses would place many different nationalities on each floor so they would no organize against the bosses and cause a mill shutdown, due to bad working conditions. If the language equation is then dismanted, then the power of a united voice is lost. This kept the bosses in power. There have been many times in history when governments have monitored the people and this has been bad. This is a perfect example of the people fulfilling their duty to keep a watchful eye on the growth of government. We should never feel that circumstances are beyond our control.

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Celebrating Christmas 2009

2009-12-29T03:30:00Z

Each year, I like to get together with my mom and sisters and go window shopping in Portland. We usually buy a few trinkets and some real gifts however the time we spend together is most important. Driving through Portland, I am delighted each year to see more and more of Pandora LaCasse’s illuminated sculptures adorning the buildings and trees throughout the downtown and the parks.

This year,we walked around the streets darting in and out of shops looking for unique treasures. We went into Gritty McDuff’s for some food and drink. I can think of no other way to spend time during the holidays than with family. Receiving Christmas cards from friends near and far allows me to realize how lucky I have been in life, to have a been a friend and to have friends.

One can’t help but to think of family and friends who are no longer part of our Christmas Tradition. Each year we recall those we have loved and are now gone, keeping their memory close to our hearts. Still, Christmas is about celebrating the gift of the birth of Christ. If anything, it is not our place to cast judgment upon others. When I read tragic news headlines, I wonder how families can cope with their tragedies. Then I think that we are human so it is beyond our ability to sometimes forgive. I suppose that is one of the reasons I believe in a higher power. I believe casting judgment is in God’s hands, not mine and I also believe he is not vengeful, because that would make him human- like. Treat others with regard to how you would like to be treated. Unfortunately, Christmas is stressful because many emotions are tied to the holiday season. Christmas time is when we think of many with whom we are acquainted and for whatever reasons, we have lost touch. Maybe we had a falling out, a misunderstanding, a fight, yet we are too stubborn to make amends. Pride stands in the way. Time does not heal wounds, it only masks them. Years pass and memories come and go and I often wonder how people are doing at this time of year. I know there are many who struggle this time of year. Every family experiences loss.

This Christmas was spent at my parents’ home with my sisters and their families. We had a wonderful dinner and spent a great deal of time playing games organized by my sister, Sharon. It was a great way to spend the day. It was perhaps the simplest Christmas we have ever had, very few gifts and little stress. It was all about spending time together. On one shopping excursion, a cashier at the bookstore told me that many people this year were paying with cash and using their debit cards, instead of credit cards. In the city

Wishing you all the very best for the New Year, in prosperity, health and the compassion and love we all need to get by in our lives. For those of you with children; remember a television does not teach our children to love and to have compassion. There is no substitute for family, one that is involved in each other’s lives. A family is about caring for one another. It is about treating grandparents with respect and making them feel they are still vital members of our families. The older I get, the luckier I am to know I have had the love and support of my family all along the way.

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

H1N1 PORTLAND MAINE

2009-12-11T15:26:00Z

            Today, Dec 11th, there was for the first time a H1N1 flu clinic for people with chronic illnesses, especially adults. Previously, healthy schoolchildren and babies have been vaccinated. The old, sick and those living with chronic illness have been having difficulty getting the shots. I spoke with the public health person for Cumberland County and I was told the healthy are being vaccinated to prevent the virus from spreading fast amongst the general population. Each week, I have been calling all of my son’s specialists, with no information on when the H1N1 shot would become available. Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy is an illness which should be at the top of the list for the vaccine, but that has not been the case.
             Today I prepared to be at the clinic when it opened. I drove to 180 Park Avenue, in Portland and was there maybe fifteen minutes after it began. I saw swarms of cars entering the parking lot, so I followed them. The lot was full and I saw many turning around on the street trying to find a close parking space. It was very bitter cold outside. All the handicapped spaces were full, with vehicles which did not qualify, I might add. So I drove off trying to find a place to park. My son and I were able to park about 1/10th of a mile away. After maneuvering the sidewalk, we approached the building. I saw many people in the hallway. When we opened the door, it was complete chaos, not noisy, but people all over the stairs with their strollers, children and no apparent sense of order , very unorganized. Worst of all there was nobody there acknowledging the crowd. I waited for about ten minutes at the most assessing the situation. I looked into the room from where I stood, near the entrance door, because we could not move any further. The room where people would be getting their shots was standing room only, no order whatsoever. I saw two men filling out paperwork on a clipboard. I am not sure where they received the clipboards. After ten minutes, I turned around and left. There were hundreds of people there and I felt we would be there all morning. To be honest, my first thought was that the room was probably a germfest, and may not be the best place to be. Much to my disappointment, I left very upset and drove to the pulmonary doctor’s office on Congress Street. They had no vaccines for adults, only children under 36 months.
             Could the delivery of these vaccines been better? Why is it not accessible for the chronically ill? Portland Public Health knew a large shipment was arriving so why wasn’t it divided amongst the many specialists who deal with the chronically ill? Perhaps it had to do with the source of the funding. I am not sure, but I am very disappointed that it has been unavailable.

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Spending Time Wisely

2009-12-09T15:21:00Z

                    There is a time for everything. We never know when our time is up or what reason we are here. I have come to believe that everything falls into place, with or without our intervention. It has been awhile since I have written, but it is because I was very busy preparing with my siblings a party for our parents on their 50th wedding anniversary. It was perhaps the most important event we have planned in our lives. My siblings did an exceptional job. I have also been working to maintain good health since June 1st, working with a trainer three times per week. In the meantime, I have been busy doing craft fairs, ornament parties and staying with my parents since our kitchen is in the process of being remodeled. I guess I am a gypsy of sorts.
                     I have missed writing so I will share a few things that have happened. Recently I went up to visit Saccarappa Cemetery and found some stones which were completely vandalized. One stone belonging to Elmer Mitchell which is made of tin, was seemingly vandalized with a sledgehammer. It nauseates me that people could spend their time smashing the memorials of people who are long gone. The stones of many of Westbrook, Maine’s earliest residents are mostly shattered. Of course one cannot hurt the dead, but it sure casts sadness upon the survivors of the dead.
                     I have been thinking about connections in my life. Recently I told my son, Mike, that he should check out www.winheldsworld.blogspot.com , a site written by a man with Muscular Dystrophy. Coincidently, later that afternoon I saw a post on my Face book page, that he had passed away. Previously, I had only checked his website maybe four or five times. Josh Winheld was an inspiration to many who knew him. If you check the comments after his brother posted the news of Josh’s death, it will break your heart to read a post written by a woman whom was very close to him. It made me cry to read her thoughts. Josh taught me that as parents, we sometimes place limitations on our kids… and that is not good. He taught me that my son could get a college education, could get work, and could find love. You have to admire people for just living their lives despite whatever obstacles they may face. I am thankful I knew about his blog. I am not sure he knew how valuable he was to his readers.
                     I wish you all good health, less stress, and the good fortune to still have a job and a roof over your head. Times are tough. It is time to get back to basics such as learning some new things. This year I learned to make my own butter, plant a garden, and can jam and jelly. Sundays may be a good time to start getting together with family and friends to start a tradition. My own sisters and I have talked about working on crafts, or bake bread, or work on scrapbooking. It is always good to learn new skills.
For several years, I have taken the day after Thanksgiving off from work, so that I could take part in the Bonny Eagle Craft Fair to make hand-lettered ornaments while people wait. Part of me was afraid I could not keep up with the orders, so I never acted upon my desire to be in the fair until this year. I sold my ornaments at three craft fairs and did pretty well. I was even asked if I could do an ornament party which I agreed to try, though it was something I had never done. So next year will be more exciting because I have new avenues I want to explore.
                     Today, it is snowing heavily in South Portland, Maine where I am located. It is beautiful outside and soon it will be time to get outside and snowshoe. Enjoy your day.

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Our Special Kids

2009-10-25T13:04:00Z

                    All weekend I have been thinking about Shiloh’s parents. She recently passed away at the tender age of ten. She was one of only three known worldwide who lived with sirenomelia, commonly referred to as mermaid syndrome. She was a true spirit, full of life and determination. As a parent of a child with a disability, I have learned a few things. Some things in life may seem unfair, but life was never fair. I also had a cousin with severe limitations and when she passed, I grieved over what she had been through in her life, but I was grateful that she was part of our lives, in the sixties; a time before inclusion.
                    In my experience, I believe most parents who have children with disabilities sometimes experience chronic sorrow because their children will lead dramatically different lives than their peers. It seems much of the child’s energy, is sometimes spent making others comfortable with them. Parents also feel compelled to have their children accepted by their peers as well as adults. There were times, I had to step back and not put those burdens on my shoulders because I needed to save my strength just to be a mom. I also wanted my son to see that I was dealing with things the best way I knew. When parents finally stop fighting the disability and gain acceptance, then the children gain self acceptance, which is most important.
                     Disabled kids teach their parents just how strong they are as human beings. The strength of the human spirit is remarkable. Inside each and every one of us is that need to live our lives. Sometimes we are not tested early on, like children with illness and disability, until we are older. Then we find that we have great strength when we need it. We will experience denial, fear, anger and sadness but that will take the back burner to acceptance and happiness in the life that we have today. Our children do not want to be made to feel they are a burden, or they are special, or they are fragile. They want people to talk to them not at them. My experience as a mother is not that different from any other mother. I want my children to accept themselves and be the best they can be. My experiences have been intense at times. It was not always easy trying to juggle meeting the needs of my able-bodied son as I was care-giving for my other son. There were times when I had nightmares over my inability to do both. For the most part, I believe I am a better person for having the experiences I have had as a mother. It may be difficult to believe but I would never trade the experience of raising a child with a disability. Of course, in my heart it has been difficult to watch my son experience his losses. It has been difficult for our whole family, especially my youngest son who watched his brother gradually stop walking and lose abilities. They have a very tight bond, which is just what a mother wants with her kids.
                    When I think of all the people I have met whose children have been sick or living with disability during our many hospital stays and also families I have known with disabled children, I am humbled to be part of this circle of friends. I have several memories of parents who have lost their children and they still reach out to me in my time of need or they are there to offer me their wisdom. So today, as I think of Shiloh’s family, I am sure they feel very blessed to have had such a beautiful daughter and I am willing to bet they too would not have traded their experience as parents to such a determined young girl. This story is dedicated to the strength of the human spirit, the love we have for life, and the courage to carry on with the burdens that we all sometimes carry. To LIfe!

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

What's Newsworthy?

2009-10-13T03:53:00Z

            Please excuse my long absence as I had a longtime visitor at my home and enjoyed the visit. This is not to say I was empty of thought as each day I would write notes to myself about topics with which I was concerned. The following gives testament to some of my mind wanderings. Oh the places I have traveled……
            Each day, we are updated with blurbs and headlines regarding current news across the Globe. How much news do we really need? When 9/11 occurred, I became obsessed with news 24/7 and in fact found my sleep interrupted as I would awaken several times during the night to keep updated, as if I might miss an important piece of news. Some would call this phenomenon a little crazy. I must agree now, that it probably was crazy, and I was not the only person in the Nation watching CNN Headline News at all hours of the night. I continued watching the CNN Headline News for over a year. Then I realized that this was not the norm.
             Once I read an article which mentioned a concept that we reserve the right ‘Not to Know.’ I believe over one hundred years ago, an idea that one day we would become over saturated with so much news that we could actually go crazy. Today, I can be watching something on television and it will be interrupted with a sensational crime story, with no warning of graphic material. This is total disregard for any children who may be watching. It is as if sensationalism has replaced decency. I am not really sure that what I see portrayed as news is really news. What I sometimes see and read is more information than my brain can handle. Sometimes, I do not know what to do with disturbing graphics and information and I am not good at processing it. I wished I had never even heard the story, because it continues to haunt me Surely, I cannot be the only one who feels this way. My belief is that we will never have the ability to keep up with the fast pace of technological advancement. We purchase our computers and they are obsolete before we bring them home. The news feeds which bombard us minute by minute are similar in the way that it is unfiltered, out of control information and media.
            Everyone has a cell phone with a camera, a digital camera, spy novelties, or a video camera. At any time, you can be filmed and never know it. I saw quite by accident a piece of footage showing a young man’s death on his motorcycle doing a stunt he had probably done hundreds of times. It had been posted You Tube and unfortunately, I never intended to see it but caught the gruesome scene. I wonder how anyone tcould take footage like that and post it with no regard to the grieving family. Although I live in a country which has alternative media, uncensored this and that, I would fight to keep it this way. I would prefer to filter out the nonsense myself, by avoiding horrific headlines and turning off the TV and radio when I am feeling bombarded. Who really needs news 24/7? Long gone are the days when my ancestors read a weekly rag which covered topics around the Globe. I think there were fewer crazier people back then too.
             The media has a way of pushing our buttons and even if we enjoy a certain program, sometimes we need to control our response to the material… and turn off the radio. I am not sure our media is doing a good job covering important issues. It seems the local town rags do an excellent job of covering the responses of everyday citizens to the news media. I was not interested in the antics of Britney Spears or the death of Michael Jackson or the OJ Simpson trial. Why do we hold these Hollywood types in high esteem? Do we wish to be like them? I think if we all took an interest in what is happening in our own four walls, the world might just be a little more interesting and healthier.
               Another topic of interest is our dependence on China. We owe them a great debt, because we think we need all this crap made in China. How much junk do we really all need? The proof is in the hundreds of yard sales in my own vicinity. If we were not obsessed with stuff, there would be no yard sales. It reminds me of an old newspaper article I read about the American South while sitting in my doctor office. The South was very angry with the North shortly after the Civil War. The wounds were very deep. One Northerner wrote, “You can’t blame them because they wake each day from their Yankee made beds, which are covered with their Yankee made sheets and pillows. The slip into their Yankee made clothes, and groom themselves with their Yankee made brushes, combs and razors. They sit down at their Yankee made table and chairs and eat from their Yankee made dishes and silverware”….You get the point. Look around your home to see all the items made elsewhere, usually China. Today, we are like the Southerners of long ago in comparison with our dependency on China. The Chinese said that America spends tomorrow’s money today and the Chinese do not do that.
             Even the media cannot keep up with the pace of the wonders of the Internet like Twitter, You Tube etc. One has to research so much to gather stories of interest and to investigate. I do not see much of that going on in too many newspapers. You would think that the newspapers would complement their news stories with the likes of alternative media sources. I would think in the news business, one would have to search and search for newsworthy items in all types of available internet media. Perhaps this is why the newspapers are failing. Soon they will all be similar to the Tabloids which are commonplace in England. News as it is delivered will be over, if that is what we will be reduced to for our news. It is not unusual for me to read a story and leave with the feeling that the story was unfinished. I always look for what is unwritten, much like in conversation, the unspoken is sometimes more important than what was spoken. Maybe too many choices are just as bad as not enough choices. That is why I believe the online comments are a fine addition to the online newspaper editions. Sometimes the comments are disturbing, but usually they give a sense of closure to the story and commenters even question pieces of the story.
             On another matter; a short time ago that there were no supermarkets, only corner markets. As a child, I seldom recall going to McDonald’s Restaurant. We went to Old Orchard Beach for rides once. As a big family we did things together, and went places which cost little to nothing. There was not this urgent sense of consumerism. Why do so many feel like they cannot ever wait for any purchase? They want it all now. Supposedly ATM card users spend more than people who carry cash spend. We are still in control….turn off the TV, throw out the sale flyers, stop shopping on the internet, and don’t allow yourself to be told what you need. Most of all on a humorous note, don’t look at those magazines at the checkout, always reminding us of what a man needs. No wonder we feel inadequate… and to think we even pay for it at the checkout! Come to think of it, I have not seen many magazines about what a woman wants… unless of course a woman is writing it for another woman. You can make that choice not to buy everything in sight and put a few dollars in your pocket.

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

Living Life

2009-09-04T03:43:00Z

                    Looking back, I suppose we have all wasted time. When I was a young woman, it was all about my friends. I had the love and security of the family I grew up with, but we all struggle to break free of our family, only later to come back and realize they are the best support we have in our lives. I had so much fun growing up with all my many friends, each one a friend for a different reason. I have friends from my neighborhood, friends from school, friends from the night club scene, friends of friends, college friends, friends in the sign trade, friends from work etc. There are friends I have known since kindergarten that I am still great friends with today. I have my mom friends who have kids with disabilities. They keep me going and give me inspiration.
                     As I grow older, I am careful how I spend my time because time is a limited commodity. Last week I talked to a friend who is a mother of boys with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. It was unusual for me to talk so long but our conversation was important to both of us. So this was not a waste of time. I have friends I touch base with on occasion because they are very important to me. My family time is of utmost importance to me because they are the investment of my husband and me. Outside my immediate family, it is my sisters with whom I wish to spend time. We have our differences occasionally but we have only admiration nd respect for each other.
                     I was conversing with a fellow employee this week and he mentioned a childhood memory. It was a sad memory about his young brother’s death. He was in fifth grade and his brother was in the first grade. His family was very large. Since he and his brother attended the same school, he was asked by his mother to tell the brother’s teacher that his brother would not be back to school because he has passed away. It was perhaps the strongest memory of my fellow employee as a child. He told me that he went to see the teacher who was conversing with a few other teachers when he interrupted them. They all stayed to hear his message, “My brother won’t be back to school because he passed away last night” He remembered bursting into tears.
                     I have thought of this fellow employee for the past few days and am humbled that he shared that story with me. I am not sure why he was comfortable with sharing it, but am glad he shared it with me. We all have stories. That was certainly no waste of my time. It reminds me of the book, “The Five People you Meet in Heaven” It is also in movie form. In life, we never know who affects us and who we affect.
                     I also read a story about a local doctor who has ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig ’s disease. I was immediately struck by his wife’s comments, that the first year after diagnosis was very terrible. I felt the exact same way after I found my son to have a serious illness. I cried every day and night for what seemed like months. It had a profound effect on my marriage, and my parenting to my other child as well as my affected son. I was devastated for a very long time. After some time was I able to find some peace and learn to live life. Then I could teach my children to live their lives.
                    A diagnosis is not a death sentence and nobody can take away your hopes and dreams. There is no person on Earth who holds the crystal ball and by no means do we all fit inside a nice box, with all diagnoses having the same exact reactions. We are all very different. Choose your time wisely and surround yourself with positive people. My best to all my friends because I am truly blessed.

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

The Mermaid of Monhegan

2009-08-19T15:26:00Z

            There is something about the allure of the sea and growing up on the coast of Maine that there are certain pleasures not to be taken for granted. The smell of the salt air and the sounds of bell buoys and foghorns on a foggy night are good memories of living along the coast. Having lived on Peaks Island for a short time, my ties are strong to the sea. Painting mussel shells with designs and combing the beach are among my favorite things to do along an ocean beach.
             The sea creatures seen in the tidal pools and the sight of seals as they feast along the jagged rocks were truly a pleasure to witness on a recent excursion to Monhegan Island. A gem in Muscongus Bay, Monhegan Island is nearly ten miles out to sea. We saw a lone fisherman out there in the middle of the bay, and I realized that it must be a lonely job for hardworking fishermen. I am sure that the catch can be plentiful but their livelihood is tied to the sea. With regulations and the current low cost of lobster [current prices are about 3.99 lb]; it must be very hard to make a good living at times. I am reminded of my last trip to Damariscotta, when I purchased native artist Dahlov Ipcar’s children’s book, The Lobsterman, filled with delightful night scenes of the lobsterman at work. Matinicus Island has been in the headlines regarding fishing territory disputes. I wish their island community the best to come together as a community again.
             Prior to the boat ride to Monhegan Island, I went on a trip to downtown Damariscotta, on our yearly visit to Reny’s. I met Mr. Robert Reny years ago in his store here and was impressed with his strong work ethic and dedication. He passed away this year and I am sure many people here will miss him as we saw a large banner “Thank you R.H. Reny” upon our arrival to the area this week. We spent a lot of time and money downtown. As always, I highly recommend Reny’s for the fashions, bargains, jewelry, souvenirs, stemware, and all things that could be considered necessities. Everyone on the street was either talking about going to Reny’s or carrying Reny’s bags like we did. Afterward I found a nice boutique named Darling and Delisle filled with beautiful jewelry, whimsical and classic designed hats, scarves and lovely hair pieces made with rhinestones and materials similar to Bakelite and tortoiseshell. While there I purchased a mermaid pendant with three natural pearls on the strand. Later on, I purchased some hairpieces for my sisters because they are my best friends.
             During the week, we had a karaoke night with a sing-a-long with our Canadian Cousins, “We Are Family”- a night of insanity and reminiscing and before the night was over, we were saying, eh?” Another old neighbor from Redbank Village came up the same week and we had a grand get-together. My brother came by with his family a few times and music was the central force. We had wonderful times playing music and singing by the campfire.
             My husband planned an evening lobster feast, chicken, steak, corn, margaritas, potato, and salad, along with many extras, to feed some twenty-five people. It was an evening to remember. The week was filled with horseshoes, skateboarding and basketball, canoeing and fishing, for all the teens-as well as plenty of teen action down by the pavilion with lots of socializing.
             Hot tubs, Jacuzzis and ice cream, slushies and snacks from the general store made our evenings worthwhile. Camping at Lake Pemaquid was a blast, so I am told. Family is what it is all about… I love them all and they make the trip worthwhile.
             The weather was perfect, except for the visibility of the annual meteor shower [August 12th]. The visibility was not good. In Weld , Maine back in 1970, on a camping trip, we witnessed at Dummers Beach, the most spectacular meteor shower ever, with hundreds of shooting stars. Never again have we witnessed anything as spectacular.
             Lake Pemaquid camping is really about all the kids getting together and making memories for them. Our family has been camping since 1967, so this is our forty second year of making memories. My father built his trailer in 1968 specifically for camping. This past year he used the same frame but rebuilt the whole trailer body for the third time.
             We learned to play dominoes on our last evening together making Dad happy. It also made us happy as we maneuvered the crazy game of Mexican Train Dominoes and laughed hysterically all evening. All in all, it was an excellent staycation, as I think that I prefer to keep my money in Maine whenever possible. I especially choose to shop in lovely Damariscotta and not in Wiscasset because the long traffic delays have made me realize I will never spend a dime there. Our vehicle moved five miles in forty minutes. On the way back we sailed through Wiscasset with no delays and I did not stop to spend any money either. As usual, it is always nice to be back home. Next year will be a grand trip to Vinalhaven or maybe even Matinicus.

Reprint permission with author's permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com