Getting what You Want and Fighting for It

                    I have been away emotionally the past couple of weeks. Now I am feeling better. While I have been very busy with workouts three times per week with a personal trainer, it does not come easy to carve out time for myself. This is going to be the year I vow to commit to myself to be in better health. I am fortunate I have this option because many do not, through no fault of their own.
                    My oldest son, for example, despite the muscular dystrophy he lives with day to day, is otherwise healthy in comparison to others we know who are affected with muscular dystrophy. Recently, he was with my other son and they were in NH when I received a call around dinnertime. My youngest son asked what medicines his brother took each day. Immediately, though he remained very calm, I realized something was wrong. He had called an ambulance for his brother because he was having difficulty breathing, This happened before and he passed out because neuromuscular patients cannot expel enough air from their lungs causing CO2 to remain in their lungs which makes them sleepy, enough to pass out. Both occurrences, my sons were together and my youngest son handled the situations with grace and courage. By the way, oxygen is like poison to these people as well because it causes the same phenomenon. My youngest son was very upset because the emergency room staff would not listen to him and use the inexsuffolater (cough assist machine) to retrieve mucus from his brother’s lungs and instead performed invasive treatment which was a ventilator (intubation). This does not allow the person to communicate. I went home and was planning to go to Portsmouth Regional Hospital, when the doctor called me to say my youngest son had requested transport to MMC for his brother. Immediately, I called his doctor here to explain the situation and replied that I wanted him off the ventilator immediately knowing that neuromuscular patients can become forever dependent upon the ventilator. I called my mom and she joined me at the hospital for my son’s arrival a short time after midnight.
                     I spent the night there in the special care waiting room and told the nurse to let him know I was there. My son was angry he had been ventilated. There was fire shooting from his eyes. With his eye movements, my husband & I figured he wanted the bed sitting higher and wanted to have spit suctioned from his mouth caused from intubation. He was on intravenous, antibiotics and was catheterized. I brought my cough assist machine from home at the doctor’s advice in the event there was a shortage of that type of equipment. The respiratory therapist was able to get a machine for his room allowing me to take mine home. I fixed the settings like ours from home as I talked with the respiratory therapist. My family is all trained on the use of the machine.
                      The following morning, my son was taken off the ventilator and there was talk of getting him a Bipap machine for evening use to facilitate with breathing. We knew it was time from the results of his last sleep study but ultimately it would be his decision when to get the equipment. Because of this incident, the choice was made for him. It is always bittersweet when a new piece of equipment comes home because something is lost… and something is gained. As soon as tubes were taken from his throat, we used his cough assist machine a few times to clear his lungs. That evening my husband would stay the night.
                     I arrived the next morning around 10:30AM to see oxygen tubes in my son’s nose and he did not look good. My husband wasn’t aware of oxygen danger but I was because of a friend whose son nearly died from being given oxygen. I realized I had not shared that info with my husband. The nurse came in and I asked about it. She said his oxygen saturation levels were falling. My son could not keep his eyes open. I told her that the oxygen tubes would be coming out and she advised me to consult with the doctor. As soon as she left the room, I took them out of his nose and started with his cough assist machine. I took out a lot of mucus and he seemed to be responding. The machine on the wall  kept beeping because the oxygen levels were low but I kept working with the cough assist. I put ithe oxygen tube back in fhis nostrils for a short while and then repeated the procedure. After almost two hours of using the cough assist machine, he was alert, and responded by having his oxygen saturations at 100 percent. He then maintained those oxygen levels. The nurses were astounded, but it did not take a rocket scientist. From what I have researched, most medical personnel are not trained on the non invasive approach to pulmonary care, much less even aware of how it works. There are some medical personnel who know. There is also no protocol for the standard of care for these patients.         
                    Achieving optimum health can even be as simple as which masks the patient uses. For my son, we chose to use nasal pillows for his Bipap, as using a full face mask can also cause complications with weight loss due to distension of the stomach as it receives too much air. There is so much to learn beginning with me and also the medical personnel. I have learned two things over the years. Whatever ‘sentence’ the doctors give you… take it lightly as everyone responds differently and most importantly LIVE your life. They only know from some of their experiences and most likely schooling. We are the ones who live with our loved one’s diagnoses. We have learned to achieve emotional health as well. Don’t let them take away any hope you have to keep you going. The next most important thing I have learned is that I will not accept NO for an answer in my care or anyone else’s care in my family. Many times, you will be butting heads with medical personnel, but remember, you don’t have to take those folks back home with you. I must say that I was most impressed with the people at the hospital, especially the Special Care Unit.
 

 

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  • 6/28/2009 11:34 AM Don McNeil wrote:
    what a story Sue!You do have to fight,i learned that when my Dad was dying.My Wife works at Maine Med and she helped with my Dad so much.Hope your Son is better!
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  • 6/28/2009 12:00 PM christine o'hagan wrote:
    My son, who also had Duchenne MD, was on a bi-pap, threaded through an "oxygenator" machine during the night, and occasionally, for short periods (when he had colds)during the day.

    This machine takes oxygen from ordinary room air. We never knew that pure oxygen was not good for him. We kept a tank in the house, and a tank in the car. The pulmonary doctor told us it would help dry the secretions that he couldn't swallow. When our son's energy flagged, a shot of oxygen got him going again. He felt better, eyes looked clearer. It seemed miraculous.

    But he also suffered a dozen pneumonias in his last year - perhaps the oxygen had something to do with that. Who knew?

    At any rate, my nephew, who also has DMD, has been on a bi-pap now, 24/7, for about a year. He survived two collapsed lungs, many procedures to repair them, and insertion of a pacemaker. He has never been intubated. He is now 33 years old, and is still going, if not quite "strong," then certainly determined.
    Perhaps one of these days, the medical profession will learn what to do with DMD "outliers," and arrive at a universal standard of pulmonary care. Too many doctors don't know, don't much care, write these kids off as"terminal." (Like we aren't all "terminal" anyway.)

    It's scary how often we parents know more than medical people do.

    I am so happy that your son got off the ventilator, but so sorry he had to go through that.

    Keep going Suzan -

    "In our adversity, God shouts to us."
    C. S. Lewis
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  • 6/28/2009 2:04 PM Kim Waite wrote:
    Hi Suzan!

    I've only known you a short time and in that time it's been very apparent to me you are an extraordinary mother! How lucky your oldest son is to have you....and you him. Mother always knows best and you showed that to the nurses that night! Good for you for taking the reins in your son's health.

    See you soon!
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  • 6/28/2009 2:36 PM Artt Frank wrote:
    Dear Suzan.

    GOD is most assuredly with you as HE is with your son(s) and husband. May almighty GOD continue to bless you with strength, courage and faith, and the knowledge, that "Whatsoever you ask The FATHER in MY name(JESUS) that I will do that The FATHER may be glorifeid in The Son."

    GOD bless you Suzan.
    With love in JESUS,
    Artt & Lisa.
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  • 6/29/2009 7:45 PM Pat Roberts wrote:
    Suzan, I'm so glad you posted this blog. This story and insight needs to be shared. I wish you worked at the hospital, I know there are many parents who would be grateful to have someone like you on their side.
    I am blessed to have you as my daughter and mother to my grandchildren!!
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  • 6/30/2009 2:16 PM Cathy wrote:
    Sue - your mother said what I was thinking as I read this story. You could tell them a thing or two. I see that other mothers who live with DMD are reading this - God bless you all. I am sorry this happened, but I am very glad that all is well. There is never too much information to share and never believe everything they tell you.

    I am very proud of you. Take care--you and your family.



    Cathy
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  • 7/10/2009 9:44 AM Robin wrote:
    Sue, what a lot to deal with! Congrats to AJ for knowing what to do and to help out. We havent had to deal with a lot of the things you are, thanks to Yahweh(God the Father)! Joel is pretty healthy too for someone with MD. If I need the knowledge I certainly will be calling you!
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  • 7/16/2009 9:52 PM sally wrote:
    Hello???? You NEVER leave anyone without and ADVOCATE!!! Medical professionals sometimes think they are the source of education..................family members are the PRIMARY caregivers and are the ones who can give the BEST options for treatment. Suzan should be given a paycheck for all of the money saved in the medical treatment of Michael!! Not to mention, John Terrance, who, if anyone would have listened to him would have known he had his brother's back side!!
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  • 7/17/2009 11:49 PM SUZAN NORTON wrote:
    THANK YOU TO ALL WHO READ AND REPLIED. I FEEL A BOND WITH MY DMD MOMS AND ALWAYS WILL. tHEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO TRULY KNOW ALL THAT IS INVOLVED. I AM THANKFUL FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY GIVE ME THE SUPPORT I NEED. lOVE YOU ALL-SUZAN
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    1. 7/20/2009 8:47 AM Anonymous wrote:
      WE ALL LOVE YOU TOO!

      CAR
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  • 7/21/2009 8:11 AM Mary Ellen Olesen wrote:
    Another chapter in your lives that show how well we know our children and what to do for those who cannot communicate their needs to the staff we entrust with their care. I do admire how well you have raised your sons to care for each other. I also admire how strong you and your husband have been and what a good team you make in advocating for M..he has learned alot from you and does the best he can to advocate for himeself. We recently had to "listen" carefully to our son who has to communicate with what most of the world would consider "behavior issues"...but by watching carefully we knew differently. Sometimes I just get so tired at having to repeat myself again and again about what he is trying to tell everyone if they would only listen.
    Thanks for being my friend...by the way I will be working at Edna this year, so maybe we could get together more often!
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  • 9/5/2009 7:06 AM Joan wrote:
    Suzan,

    This is wonderful. My summer has been one thing after another so sorry I did not have a chance to read this article until this morning. Pete is 24 now. His DMD for the most part is holding him at about the same level. Pete spent three days at an ICU in Boston due to severe bronchitis. Like you say the cough machine is what saved him and allowed us to get the secretions out of his lungs. We were very proud of Pete as he advocated for himself with all the doctors, nurses, therapists etc. Praying for you. With Peace, Joy and Love,
    Joan
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