THE GIFT



 Today, started out like any other day except it wasn’t. My mother called me the previous night to say good night like we always do and then she broke down crying. This past two weeks has been tough on family because my mother’s brother, Dick, has been very ill. He and my mom are less that one year apart so they grew up almost like twins. He went by ambulance to the hospital on March 22nd because he couldn’t breathe. He was suffering with pneumonia for some time. I think my Uncle has been sick for a long while but never saw a doctor or let on to anyone that he wasn’t well. After all, he was never one to be the center of attention, very humble and passive. He was one of the best listeners I knew. He smoked , though it does not really make a difference at this time. He was diagnosed with lung cancer and stomach cancer. My mom told me that he wanted to go home and he was told by doctors that it was not an option. I became furious when mom told me this because  anyone can go home if they want. There is such a thing as palliative care and it helps people to focus on life, not death. I wanted to see him myself so I could tell him that he was in charge of his own care, not the doctors. I was concerned he was too passive. I felt better after talking with him on the 29th. He was struggling to talk then. My aunt and cousins have endured a great deal these past few days.
                     Uncle Dick married young like my own parents. He married a girl from a farm in Scarboro, my Aunt Alice. As a kid, I have great memories of going to the Gantnier Farm on Broadturn Road. We went there whenever Uncle Dick would come home from some far away place as he served in the Air Force from 1960-1972. He lived in New Jersey, Vermont, Mississippi and Germany. All of us cousins would run around the farm watching the bulls and cows out in the field and playing on a swing near a tree. At one time, I remember he sent a bunch of photographs he had taken of Hurricane Camille down near Biloxi , MS where he was stationed to his mom, my grandmother. He was a historian of sorts as I recall I was fascinated with those pictures. I will never forget how sad I felt as a child when he came home from Mississippi for emergency leave to see his own sick father and did not make it in time. I was nine and I remember how sad it made me feel for him.
                    What I knew about Uncle Dick was that he was very smart about electronics and an inventor of sorts also, much like my own dad. He was also musical like my dad. I heard a great deal of their music over the years. Uncle Dick used to play every weekend somewhere, once he left the military and took a job at General Electric where he was an appliance repairman for thirteen years. After that stint, he decided he wanted to go into business for himself under the name O’D Appliance. 
                     He and Alice built a home in Scarboro and together they had three kids. It was nice to have them settle back in Maine after all the traveling they did. Uncle Dick loved nature and the woods were at the edge of his property. He once set up a motion detector camera that would take beautiful pictures when deer passed through his yard. He was very sensitive and had great respect for animals. He spent time pursuing his photography hobby taking photos down by the Scarboro Marsh. 
                     In 1991, my grandmother died. Once again, Uncle Dick rushed to be by his mother’s side and he was only a few minutes late. We all felt a sadness for him. Uncle Dick has always been a very gentle, sensitive person. Maybe he was just the slowest angel those times, carrying the burden on his shoulders. Nothing could have prepared us for my cousin Robby’s untimely tragic death later that year in 1991. I don’t know how my Aunt, Uncle, and cousins managed the next few years. Everyone’s heart was broken.
                     With the recent news Uncle Dick received, he accepted his own fate with grace. He found his strength and peace from somewhere. I recall a night, probably eight months ago when  I was listening to some of his music he had recorded for all of us some twenty five years ago onto cassettes. Appropriately, he named it, ‘Remember Me” I was in my kitchen preparing dinner, when I put the cassettes on and listened to his lovely voice and all the music he made with his guitar which he blended with various instruments. I called him out of the blue to tell him how much I was enjoying it. I told him that I wanted to record his music onto some CD’s because as the family historian, I felt it was important. He was interested in my idea and asked me to let him know what I found out. 
                    The past year or so, I have been going to Abba Video Productions, www.abbavideo.com , in Gorham to have home movies converted and other media transferred. I never forgot my idea but I did not have the extra funds at the time.
Anyhow, on the 29th when I saw him at the hospital, just before I left, he asked me if I ever had his music transferred to CD. I told him not yet, but I would be going to do so the next day, Monday. Meanwhile I came home and sent an urgent reply to Abba Video explaining what I needed and asked if she could please hurry the job for me. I received a reply quickly and was told that by the end of the week she would have something for me.
                    My Uncle has given us his gift of music and I wanted to thank him in some way. As soon as I received an answer, I told my mom and his daughter to let him know it was in the works. I hear that he was very happy about this, so that brings me comfort. This would be my gift to him.
                    Uncle Dick was able to spend one full night at home. The next evening, he was having difficulty breathing and was transported to Gosnell Hospice in Scarboro. Today being Friday, I prepared to go to work. On the way, I called Abba Video to see if anything was ready. She told me she had one set finished. I told her that I would be right over. I then called my mom’s cell phone and left a message that I had his music and I would see about getting it to mom soon so she could get it to her brother. At this time, I did not know he was at Gosnell. I called my father who confirmed he was taken there today and my mom was headed there.
                     I am supposed to be at work at 12:30pm and I am thinking that I cannot go to work for a few hours as I need to get this music to my Uncle. I spoke with my boss, who arranged my schedule so that I could take it as appointment time, for which I am allowed 4 hours per year. I do not really know how I knew that I needed to go just then. Maybe it was my intuition.
                    I got directions and drove to Scarboro and found his room. I saw my mom, my Aunt, my cousins and Aunt’s sister and his grandson. I walked in and told them that I had his music and then I saw my Uncle who was ‘out of it’, in a deep sleep, with labored breathing. He was wearing an oxygen mask and I am not sure if he knew we were all there. My mother left the room to find a CD player. She brought one back from the front desk and we put on a CD of Uncle Dick’s lyrics and music. My cousin wanted me to talk with him and tell him about it. So I stood by his side and told him that we finally had his music on CD. I told him that it did not sound nearly as good as a live performance but we were happy we had his music. I thanked him for all his music over the years. The music was a nice distraction from the discussion around the room. I hope that it brought comfort to everyone, including Uncle Dick.
                    We all thought that he must have heard it, because at one point he turned his head towards the music. They say hearing is the last sense we have. I really hope he knew how much enjoyment that his music has brought to us. I was there today when a priest came to his bedside and administered his last rites. God Bless Uncle Dick. He is truly a gift to us all. May we all find peace and a special place for him in our hearts. Let not our hearts be troubled.