It has been an interesting week. I started a new job in a different department about three weeks ago. Since most of my interests lie in reading material for informative reasons, my brain has not had to work this hard since college. I read to gain knowledge about a variety of topics, but I have not exercised my brain like I have on this new job. I was exhausted each night, getting home by 6:30 PM. One morning, I hit the snooze mode on my alarm, for just 10 more minutes of peace. I went into a very deep dream and in that dream I was surrounded by my siblings and my parents. I was getting argumentative with each of them when they responded, “blatt, blatt, blatt…blatt, blatt” They were all doing it when I was trying to converse with them. I told them how annoying they were and that they sounded just like my alarm clock. I awoke 35 minutes later to the blatt, blatt sound of my alarm. It had been blatting for 35 minutes while I dreamt. That was comical.
                     I try to find as much humor in a day as I can, just to get through a work day and justify being away from the things I really love to do. One evening, I arrived home and my husband says, “Suzan, check the caller ID. You have some calls” I saw one call from a person I knew 30 years ago when I worked at the hospital. I thought highly of this woman and always wondered about her over the years, but was unsure where she was located. She had seen an article with my name concerning the information I gathered on Redbank Village. It seems her housekeeper used to live in that neighborhood. She asked the housekeeper if she knew me and the woman responded yes. My friend contacted me through my parents. Back then I was known as Sue from SCU. It was wonderful to think we still considered each other friends after so much time had passed. 
                    I then received a call from another close friend who needed to talk about a friend who had been diagnosed with MD. The family was very upset so I offered some practical advice as “someone who has been there.” I was flooded with frightening thoughts in the early stages of our son’s diagnosis. We have traveled a long journey since then and I am often grateful to help others navigate their way. My first suggestion to anyone with a new diagnosis would be to take it all in baby steps. Do not think too far ahead, it can be scary. Think of it this way. If you are 25 and think that one day you will wake up and be 85….frightening. We have to grow into everything. We are always trying to accept ourselves, our kids, our spouses, our parents as each evolve. Also you must be very careful with whom you share your information. Be very selective and choose to surround yourselves with positive people. An example of this would be that when our son had an unexpected period of time in intensive care, I alerted everyone by email with one letter. I told them to keep us in their thoughts but I requested no visitors as I needed to be strong for my son. I knew what I needed to do by instinct. I have learned to prioritize. Then I told her that the person needed most of all to connect with other families with the same diagnosis when they were ready. I recommended that this was more important than reading all the info on the internet, because these people were living life…not letting it define them. I told her if the person needed names, I could maybe help facilitate that. If I can help others with my experience, my time on earth will be well spent.
                    Lastly, I had mailed a “Thinking of You” card to a couple who lost their son, Joe, to MD a few months ago. Joe was only 20. He was a ray of sunshine in their lives. They also have another son with MD. These folks are perhaps the most giving people I know, always trying to help others who have the same struggles. I am humbled by their grace. They are the salt of the earth, goodness prevailing. I already had two important phone calls this evening and now I had a letter from his couple. With their loss, they still give so much love to others. They are living life and there are accepting their grief. This is the spirit of life. I would say I had an extraordinary day. Reflecting on the events of that day, I would say I was a lucky person, to be blessed with a wonderful family and a group of extraordinary friends.
                    Here it is Saturday evening. I spoke with a girlfriend this evening and we were talking about the high cost of everything. I told her I had a little money left over for groceries, twenty dollars to be exact. I suggest if you want to buy stock, invest in Kraft (Macaroni and Cheese). The stores can’t keep it on the shelves. I know I am not alone with this dilemma. I told her how I burst out laughing after coming home today when I saw my husband enjoying a lobster roll. Only in Maine can you have twenty dollars left over for groceries and still have enough for a lobster roll. We don’t have a great deal of pleasures with our money so I really did not care. It just struck me as very funny. Hey even a poor fiddler deserves some happiness… or a lobster roll.
                    We talked about a variety of topics. Many of my friends graduated from the school of hard knocks and she is one of them. She doesn’t complain; she is just a survivor. We talked about how rare it is to find a couple who stay together and sacrifice everything for their family. The older I get, I am amazed at how rare it truly is. I think that sticking things out even when it can get really tough, allows us to grow as individuals. It is certainly no piece of cake. I have learned a lot about myself, and my shortcomings, my anger, my hate, my acceptance, my love, my sadness….through all of it, I have learned that we can choose to live life and accept the many things along the way or we can throw everything in the trash, because after all, aren’t we all disposable? [I am being facetious] To accept the anger inside of you is to accept part of yourself. Time has been wasted with the anger I held inside. At the end of last year, I stopped drinking all alcohol products. I feel more at peace than I have felt for a long time. When all is said and done, family is all that matters and the connections you made along your journey. I wish you all peace along your journey.