Coffee with Dad
Life presents me with stories upon stories that I feel need to be written. I have a working list that waits for me to steal the time to write.
Yesterday, I dutifully spent my morning at Westbrook Historical Society which is the best place I like to be when I am not with my family. I viewed some home movies with Scott Irving and he shared some very interesting new stories he had researched at the library concerning early Redbank. I will be writing soon regarding those stories, thanks to him
A few days ago, I received correspondence from an author, Rhea Cote Robbins, who writes of her Franco American experiences of growing up in Waterville. She teaches at the University as well. There is a concern that Franco American voices are being suppressed and books written by them are being denied availability for purchase in some of our State’s institutions. Who can speak of Maine and deny the rich Native American and French Canadian voices that populate our state? Her web site is www.fawi.net and also her blog www.fafemme.blogspot.com is where she voices her concerns.
Last week, it was a visit to the cardiologist to get my son Mike’s meds adjusted to a higher dose and get an echocardiogram. While there, I ran across the hall to the pulmonary doctor to leave a quick note with a straight forward question. I was concerned with Mike’s congestion, experienced after he eats. Anyhow, I wrote that if she was busy, I could call back or she could leave me a message. Heading back across the hall to the heart doctor, Mike was already in a room getting prepared. A short while later, the receptionist came by to ask if the pulmonary doctor could join us. I replied that it was ok if the heart doctor was ok with it. It worked out well. Mike got some good care from both doctors and they were both aware that some of his function was compromised. Together we worked out a few solutions. What a day for multitasking. I am thankful for his doctors.
Last night, I went to Staples and spent almost 1 ½ hours making copies of all the stories I posted on Mainetoday.com regarding Redbank. I then purchased a nice binder and included clear sleeve protectors along with an introduction about why I started posting my Redbank pictures. Today, I called my father to see if he wanted to go along with me to present it to the South Portland Historical Society. After the presentation, he took me to Tim Horton’s in Millcreek. This is the topic for my blog today…. The conversation we had over coffee.
My mother left for Jacksonville, FL on work duty this morning while most of us were still sleeping. It was nice that Dad offered to take me to coffee as it is seldom we converse without interruptions. I was his only employee for ten years and we had lots of stories that still keep us laughing today.
Dad talked about Mom and how they were so lucky to be compatible throughout the years. They were in High School when they met, she being from Portland and he from South Portland. I heard many stories of how he walked across the bridge to see my mom in all types of weather. One time it was a blizzard and he headed back to South Portland around midnight, from Brackett Street. He stood shivering waiting for the bridge to come down, when the man in the bridge booth yelled, “What are you waiting for?” My dad replied “Well, for the bridge to come back down” The man replied, “You have a long wait. It is scheduled for six months repair” Dad took the long walk back to Anthoine Street. They did not know that I was about to change their lives forever. My mother became a mother at age eighteen. To complicate their lives further, my father failed English his senior year and had to repeat the whole year. This year, we all moved to Anthoine Street where my dad’s family lived. The very day my father graduated with the class of 1960, my mother had a home ready for them to move into located in Redbank in July 1960. He worked full time in his senior year as well as attending school all week. They had no car for the first two years of marriage. In fact my father hitchhiked to work most of the time. My mother’s parents helped my parents as much as they could with child care and so forth. I recall every Sunday was spent having dinner with my grandparents.
My dad spoke of my mom with great respect when we sat over coffee today. He said ,“Your mother could do anything. I don’t know how we did it. I grew a garden and she canned everything. We did not have money to go to McDonald’s or places like that with you kids. She made a nice home for us, and just knew that she had to care for all of you. She learned to sew, cooked her own bread, and learned how to crochet and knit. She helped me start my business. She even learned about layout and design from working in the sign shop alongside of me. Your mother is a smart cookie.”
The conversation drifted from time to time about how people have so many unreasonable expectations today. He doesn’t understand how someone could think of getting plastic surgery and think it is so important. He said he thinks people miss the big picture about what is so important. Dad asked me, “What would someone say today if I asked them to help with the garden and put up some vegetables?” His answer was what I expected….I do not know if anyone ever slows down enough today to invest the time needed to raise a family, staying married and having disappointments along the way, or even just tending a garden….but trudging forward. With each generation perhaps some of these values are lost and it is up to us to fight to maintain a little of what good things we may have had growing up. I believe it was our strong family support that helped us to realize, even if it was a little later in life, that we had it pretty good. Of course today was a real pleasure to hear my dad speak of my mom with such respect and admiration for her. I know she feels the same.
These photographs were taken when my dad was in his senior year of high school(His 2nd senior year) The picture with my mom in her striped sweater was worn from dad carrying it in his wallet.
I just want to say that I think John Merritt Roberts is one of the smartest men that I know. He is so right in his philosophies. I am also very happy to hear that he speaks so highly of his bride after all of the years of hardships and triumphs. They have respect for one another. Sticking together is just not what people do these days because they don't stop and smell the roses, or look for alternative behaviors.
You are very lucky to have such a family, Sue. I know that you realize that because you speak very highly of your parents; they are friends as well as parents. You were brought up with high family values, and kudos to Pat & John for that. I know it wasn't always easy for them, but they muddled through and then I think life got better. God, they started their own business which I believe has prospered over the years, and now they don't necessarily have to grow their own food in order to sustain the family. They are definately role models.
So, Pat & John, I am very happy that you are still nuts about each other after all these years...and many more to come. Love ya.
I cannot get over how much David looks like John at that age.
Sue, I am glad that you got to see both doctors at the same time -- good multi-tasking for you in your busy world. I have much respect for you, my friend.
TTFN & Hugs & Kisses!!!
Toots
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Yeah, what Cathy said. But more, too. People like your father and mother were the real heros who stuck through tough times for the sake of a higher cause, them and their kids. That is the only way a good society can carry one. Most can't be bothered with doing something that will last and sustain society. So we slowly march toward collapse. People like your parents are the only things that slow it down.
But your father's view was acquired by hindsight as well as initial wisdom and love. BUt, your mother needs some big praise here, too. How many women today are like you mother? Almost none, save a daughter or 2, huh? How many would accept a life of work and effort and not demand a lot of material comforts through in their life in exchange for a family? We both know there are very few.
Your dad was right about expectations. That is why I like to hear him speak, albeit, through you. We need to hear much more from him. John, are ya there? And you and I are also too old to avoid this obligation as well. That is why I am reading this blog, right?
I fear we are heading for yet another depression. My father and mother lived through the last one. I saw the results. And knowing h istory as I do, the last one was not pretty and this one will surely not be nice, either. But it might reset those expectations We have become so attached to, today. Self sacrifice and frugality were replaced by extravagence and the satisfying of every little whim. Who cares if the price of that fancy coffee or pastry is ridiculously high. I gotta have it right now. Price is not object.
That is changing even as I type. I would love to hear more from your mom and dad. They have a right to speak and credibility when they do for they actually did it and did it sucessfully and the best way to imitate success is to study it and imitate it.
They gave their lives to their kids. MOst today are too worried about their own needs to ever sacrifice them to their kids. But life is stingy and does not allow us the luxury of both hving our cake and eat it, too. But if kids are to be good little products that will serve the future well, they must have that sacrifice from their parents. Today, kids never grow up or stop thinking about themselves. Kids need to leanrn and be taught self sacrifice and caring about others. It does not come natural and never will. They can go without at times. Love is more important than video games and cell phones.
Well, I guess I'll step off the soap box now. I had my fun. Super great blog. Tell dad we want more. Later!
Scott
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My daughter Sue and I are very close. Her love for her mother and I is very deep, we know that. Our other children are the same. We have been very fortunate to have a close and loving family. Of anything the I have ever done, being part of raising 4 great kids is my greatest joy and achievment. My wife Pat really did the hard work and I just filled in around the edges. Thanks Suzan for the nice story and for exposing me as a sentimental guy. Your mother really is a smart cookie.----JR
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Hi Mr. Roberts!
It would appear to me that the whole Robets family has got quite a lot on the ball. I'm impressed and I doubt I am alone. I did meet you briefly as a kid. But you should know that you and your wife, and family are rare gems. Not at all common.
The world of today is producing far less good and far more bad and it is not an accident that this is so. People are putting less into kids and family rather than more. We harvest what we have planted 6 months previous, so to speak. Its just nice to hear the voices and ideas of those who have the credibility of success. Take care.
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Hi Mr Roberts,
You and your wife did raise a great Family.You should be very proud of Sue and im sure your other kids as well!I remember meeting you a few times out in your yard in Redbank.I believe you use to play Horseshoes over in Dick Greens yard as well.Although i never had kids of my own my wife and i have the Kind of relationship you and Pat have.It is very special to me and i am so greatful.Take Care.
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I can't believe I never commented on this blog. My daughter, Suzan, is such a talent and such a great writer. I want to thank her and her Dad for the kind words about me, but need to tell you all, it takes a whole family to make a marriage last, not just husband and wife. We had great kids; and none of us needed anything much more than our love for each other. One of these days, I may buy a new couch, but I'm going for a record - 51 years without buying anything new LOL ---- Love is great and so is my family!!!
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